Icarus Unheeded

Icarus Unheeded

 

 

April 2, 2021 Online Advertisement:

 

Bill and Joe’s Extreme Games presents the next big thing that every thrill seeker absolutely must do!

 

Are you ready for the next big extreme sport? What can be more exhilarating that bungee jumping? What sends your body flying faster through the air than skydiving? The next bold chapter in extreme sports is now available to everyone at a special introductory price for a limited time. Would you rather fly or fall? Anyone can jump out of a plane or off a bridge. Just imagine flying up at incredible speeds instead of merely falling down. That’s right, human catapulting is here.

 

Once you are weighed and given a brief safety seminar, you can immediately get into the catapult and go soaring through the air, 250 feet almost straight up, perfectly safely. Our expertly designed and manufactured catapult is ready to safely launch you flying into the air, and all we have to do is give it your exact weight. Just imagine flying through the air, up, up and away. You don’t even have to fall. Our catapult is located at the bottom of the San Rafael cliffs. Basically, at the exact point in which your body would begin to fall, you will land on our big air mattress! It is really only the equivalent of falling about five or six feet onto a perfectly safe landing field that can easily support a fall from five times that height.

 

Join our free raffle! This is the next big thing and you can be the first one to do it. For the next week, you can join our free raffle to be the first to brave soul to attempt this death-defying feat. That’s right, the very first person in the general public, and the very first in line, for absolutely free. Hurry up, there is a limited time to enter the raffle.

 

Grand opening is on June 5, 2021!!!

 

Prize has no cash value. Void where prohibited. Raffle participants must be 18 years or older. Limit of ten entries per person. If winner fails to claim his/her prize within three days of notification, runner up (second drawn) will receive the prize. Extreme catapulting is exclusively owned by Bill and Joe’s Extreme Games. All rights reserved.

 

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April 10, 2021 Company Email:

 

Hey Joe, just wanted to let you know that we have to recall the microchip model IG88-1A. I think you mentioned that you are using it in some sort of new machine at your amusement park. It’s no big deal, if we can’t get you something else that will work. It gets too hot and just blows. I’m very sorry about that, but did warn you that it was new. If we don’t have anything else that will work, we will be happy to buy you something from our competitors.

 

                                                                                                                                                            So sorry, Ed

 

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April 18, 2021 Online Company Blog:

 

We just wanted to update those that couldn’t attend our party last weekend. We have a winner! Meagan Rivera has won the honorable position of the first person to fly! She will be the first in line at The Catapult in just over two weeks. Congratulations again, Meagan. Hope you can hold your lunch and aren’t too scared.

 

Everyone, this is the biggest, baddest extreme thing you can do, open to the public on June 5!

 

Meagan says that she can’t wait. And, “It’s the most exciting thing,” that has ever happened to her. We understand that, Meagan. You will have severe bragging rights about being the first ever to do this.

 

Anyone else want to fly? Come on out. Limited time only $250 per person. This will only be for the first weekend. Prices will be $399.99 per person after that. Don’t miss out.

 

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April 25, 2021 Personal Email:

 

Bill,

 

Hey, I’ve been a bit busy, but I haven’t heard back from you. I hope you got my message, the microchip, IG88-1A, being recalled. Maybe you’re busy too. It seems like you might not be using it in anything that important, I guess, or you should have already noticed that your machinery isn’t working, hahaha. Okay buddy, catch you later.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                Ed

 

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June 6, 2021 From Autopsy Findings:

 

Name: Rivera, Meagan June

 

Date of Birth: June 1, 2001

 

Date of Death: June 5, 2021

 

Time of Death: Pronounced on scene, apx. 1:15 pm

 

Cause of Death: Blunt force trauma to heart, brain, other internal organs; decapitation/ machinery accident