Strictly Come Village Orgying

There was much excitement in the village this weekend as Little Frigging made it through to the semi-finals of the BBC’s Strictly Come Village Orgying.

Little Frigging went through to the semis after a stunning but tense quarter-final play off against Yorkshire’s champion village, Buggerofftwat. The round was only decided at the very last minute after a tense nail-biting Ladies’ Excuse Me which saw Little Frigging’s own Strom Thighhammer thrust up against Buggerofftwat’s leading free-form fondle, Mrs Hetty Polestraddler. Mrs Polestraddler is notorious throughout the village orgy community for her remarkable ability to not only cross her ankles behind her ears, but also for possessing an incredible talent for sucking cricket balls up through a normal drinking straw.

However, such is the strict training regime that the ladies of Little Frigging enforce upon Strom Thighhammer during the off-season; he is able to take such carnal excesses in his stride. He was therefore able to make Mrs Polestraddler come over all unnecessary with some rather deft footwork during the full reversal over-arm thigh-fondle, and thenceforth some confident handling of Mrs Polestraddler through the chicane.

Of course, Mrs Polestraddler was not going to take this lying down, not after the first few times anyway, and countered with a very strict grasp on Strom’s wherewithal during the tango. However, in the end, the judges decided to hand it to Strom on points, especially as Mrs Polestraddler was finding it difficult to climb out of the bath filled with lime jelly before the umpire was blown for the end of the round.

In the end, then Little Frigging were declared victors by 12 points, a multiple orgasm and a fully-satiated goat.