Mouldysocks and the Three Bears

This story is a bit like Goldilocks
But this is really true
Goldilocks is a myth
And a legend too.

The story starts the same,
With three talented bears
Who live in a little cottage
Eat porridge and sit on chairs.

The bears are rather amazing
They can talk, laugh and dance
They do human things
Like wearing underpants.

One day Baby Bear
Did something that really stung,
He took some boiling porridge,
And placed it on his tongue.

"Mummy, mummy!" he cried,
"My tongue must be on fire!
A nice cold ice cream,
Is what I most desire!"

"We have none in the house" says Mummy bear,
"We'll have to go and get some,
And I have no money
So your Dad will have to come."

So off went the bears,
To buy some icy treats
Meanwhile, a nasty smell
Was wafting down the streets.

People held their noses and cried
"What is that awful pong?
That is invading our dear noses,
And is so very strong!"

Others replied "It's Mouldysocks,
The seven year old devil,
Who brings smelly socks
To an entirely new level!"

"Her socks are from hell
She's a monster in the making
The stink is so bad
My nose is sorely aching!"

Mouldysocks looked like
An evil garden gnome,
No wonder her mother
Had sent her away from home.

She had wild hair,
And beady eyes like coal
Then, of course, sweaty feet,
Like those of a troll.

That day she stumbled across,
The three bear’s humble home,
She went inside without a thought
And began to roam.

She thought to herself,
“This place is rather cool
If I don’t stay and enjoy it,
I would be considered a fool!”

So she settled in quite nicely,
Devouring the abandoned food
But when she saw the bears returning,
She knew that she was screwed.

She threw open the door,
And fell to her knees,
The smell of her socks,
Wafting in the breeze.

“You lovely bears, please do not
Eat me for your dinner,
Because let’s face it, Daddy bear,
You’re not getting any thinner!”

There was no reply to Mouldysocks,
As sadly for the bears,
They died from the smell of the socks
That Mouldysocks did wear.

So Mouldysocks lived happily,
In the house of the bears,
With her socks still in tact
As she has no other pairs,
So just be careful
She doesn’t catch you unawares,
Otherwise, it will be time
For you to say your prayers.