Mad Smithers and the Government's All Under Control Plan : Episode 1
By hilary west
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Mad Smithers Episode 1
(At the Institute)
Smithers : I must change society irrevocably, Malcolm.
Malcolm : Is that the agenda, Smithers?
Smithers : Yes – the government want sedate dummies so they can control the world. In the ‘All under control plan’ I am master. What I say goes.
(At Loose Lucy’s sex parlour)
Babette : What did you think of Smithers?
Tiger Lily : I didn’t like him. He is a megalomaniac. I know what the government intend to do.
Babette : Did he tell you?
Tiger Lily : Yes – I know as much about it as he does. No one is safe. We are all to become sedate dummies.
Babette : How will he do this?
Tiger Lily : I don’t know. He is a scientist, he will find a way.
Babette : You must pump him. There is no other way.
Tiger Lily : But Babette he is so hard.
Babette : So much the better. Your wiles, Tiger, can melt any man’s heart.
Tiger Lily : I hope so, I really do.
(Back at Smither’s Lab)
Smithers : I want those two bugger boys Andrex and Darren from Loose Lucy’s, Malcolm.
Malcolm : Why, Smithers?
Smithers : To use in my experiments of course.
Malcolm : How can we effect that, Smithers?
Smithers : We must kidnap them. Take this chloroform, Malcolm, and let’s get going.
(At Loose Lucy’s sex parlour)
Andrex : Did you hear what Tiger Lily said about Mad Smithers? He’s going to make everybody dummies in the ‘All under control plan’.
Darren : Yes, it is quite worrying, isn’t it? It will affect business.
(Smithers arrives at rear entrance to the parlour)
Smithers : Enter in here, Malcolm, and have the chloroform ready.
(Andrex and Darren are on a bed)
Smithers : Seize them, Malcolm – they will be ideal models for my sedate dummies. These boys will be the first people all under our control.
(Malcolm chloroforms the boys)
(They drag them out to Smithers’ car)
Smithers : Hurry, Malcolm – we don’t want to alert Loose Lucy.
(Loose Lucy hangs out of an upstairs window)
Loose Lucy : What are you doing with my boys?
Smithers : Oh God, Malcolm, she’s seen us.
Loose Lucy : (To Babette and Tiger Lily) Quick girls we must get after them. Follow them to the Institute.
(Loose Lucy, Babette and Tiger Lily get into a car)
(Back at the Institute the boys are coming around)
Andrex : Where are we?
Smithers : Don’t worry, boys, everything is under control. I am just going to use you a little.
Darren : Use us – in the usual way?
Smithers : No, you fools. I’m giving you a complicity drug.
Andrex : We are already complicit.
Smithers : I don’t think so. You are not yet sedate dummies.
Darren : Please release us. We don’t want to be here.
(Back at Elder McCronie’s church)
Elder McCronie : Those poor girls at Loose Lucy’s, they need reforming.
Mrs. Upsall : Oh how right you are, Elder McCronie, and you are just the one to do it.
Elder McCronie : I’m going there now. See you later, Mrs. Upsall.
(Back at the sex parlour there is a note on the door. It says ‘We are closed for business temporarily. Gone to the Institute’)
Elder McCronie : What is Loose Lucy doing at the Research Institute? That good Dr. Smithers is beyond reproach.
(Back at the Institute)
Smithers : It’s Loose Lucy and Tiger Lily and Babette. Let them in, Malcolm.
(Loose Lucy, Tiger Lily and Babette enter)
Loose Lucy : Where are our boys?
Smithers : Everything is under control.
(The boys are strapped into seats in the next room and gagged)
Loose Lucy : We demand to see them.
Smithers : Pounce on the pussies, Malcolm.
(Smithers looks deep into their eyes and hypnotizes them)
Smithers : Come with me, come with me, girls – let your bodies go.
(The girls are hypnotized and fall in a heap)
Smithers : We can use them all, Malcolm. Begin the brainwash.
(Malcolm drags them into the brainwashing chairs)
Smithers : Now we are ready, Malcolm. Modify the underclass.
(Elder McCronie appears at the Institute door)
Elder McCronie : Let me in, let me in now.
Smithers : Oh God, Malcolm, it’s the Elder McCronie. Get rid of him.
(Malcolm opens door)
Malcolm : We are busy.
Elder McCronie : Never mind that, let me in.
(Elder McCroonie pushes past Malcolm wielding his umbrella)
Smithers : Oh Elder McCronie, how nice to see you.
Elder McCronie : What are Andrex and Darren doing gagged and why are the girls unconscious?
Smithers : Oh that, just a little experiment.
Elder McCronie : Have you been missing church lately, Smithers?
Smithers : No I don’t think so.
Elder McCronie : Well I do, release those boys, they are innocents.
Smithers : Innocents? I can assure you you are mistaken. They live in a brothel.
Elder McCronie : I am here to save their souls. They are good, just fallen from grace. I intend to mend their souls.
Smithers : Well of course, Elder McCronie, whatever you say. Release those boys, Malcolm.
Elder McCronie : And the girls, Smithers.
Smithers : Inject back to life, Malcolm.
Elder McCronie : You are such a good man, Dr. Smithers. I am so glad you can see sense. I must reform those boys and girls.
Smithers : Of course, Elder McCronie. I don’t want to stop that.
Elder McCronie : Good, I’ll see you in church on Sunday.
Smithers : Yes, I’ll be there.
(The girls, boys and Elder McCronie leave the Institute)
Smithers : I’ll get them, believe you me. As for that Elder McCronie his days are numbered.
Malcolm : Yes, Smithers, we must crush them all.
Smithers : The government wants them all under control, Malcolm. There are too many subversives.
Malcolm : What now then, Smithers?
Smithers : We’ll wait, Malcolm, but not forever. Those girls will be putty in my hands. They adore me.
Malcolm : Yes, Smithers.
Smithers : Summon the dwarf, Malcolm, and request the drug penis. I am going to make another trip to Loose Lucy’s.
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