Intelligent woman

INTELLIGENT WOMAN

Intelligent woman
Young and free
What makes you so different to me?

Neglected, Alone
Angry and scared
You fight for your life, your teeth bared

Emotionally Unstable
Personality Disorder
You are on a restriction order
You prefer it that way

You hate your carers with murderous rage
You sit in the cage
Thinking of ways
To beat and strangle us, to kill our children

You also love us to distraction
You cannot bear to be abandoned
Then you won’t exist
Nothing will exist
So you must persist
In loving us

In the seclusion room again
Feeling unsafe
You find some solace in this pen
At least no-one can hurt you
As they used to

Each day it’s my job to gauge the extent of your rage
Often through a small square
Through an impenetrable door
I cannot see your whole face
You look roughly my age

Are your eyes wild?
Is your hair dishevelled?
Are you talking about the devil?

Not today then
Not today
You are at risk to another
You will be held by the brick mother
As no flesh mother ever did

In a parallel world
In my nightmares
It is you dressed smartly, with clattering heel
Kneeling by the door and peering through
Trying to work out how I feel
Am I dangerous?
Is my hair dishevelled?

My face is slack
I don’t talk back
Not today then
Not today

Intelligent woman indeed you are wise
Your lucid intervals take me by surprise
When your wild eyes seem like a disguise
You speak with clarity and deep thought
And I forget the malice with which you fought

For now I stay on this side of the door
I do my job kindly and nothing more
Intelligent woman or not
This was, regrettably, your lot