Craven Danger at the Crossroads - Part Three

“Aren’t you a little old to be sent to the principle’s office?” said the little girl.

“It wasn’t my fault,” said Craven. “It was that Billy Munson, the little bully!”

“I hate Billy Munson!” said the girl.

“Me, too!” said Craven. “Why do you hate him?”

“He wrote a bad thing on my test paper when I wasn’t looking.”

“What’d he write?” said Craven.

“Nuns have monkey legs,” said the girl. “It go me in such big trouble.”

“That sounds like Billy Munson all right,” said Craven.

“Why so you hate him?” said the girl.

“First of all,” said Craven. “He told me my fly was open, when it wasn’t ever. Then, as he’s crossing the street, he hands me a cupcake with one of them fizzy candles in it. ‘This is from the gang,’ he says. ‘Thank you’, I says. It wasn’t until after the explosion that I realized it wasn’t a fizzy candle at all. And when that thing went off I must a jumped twenty feet in the air. And it was one a them cream filled cup cakes, too. I’ll never get the stains outta this shirt! And I ain’t even paid for it yet.”

“If Billy Munson did all that,” said the girl, “how come you were sent to the principle’s office?”

“Well, I’ll tell ya,” said Craven. “After that cupcake exploded, I lost my head. So I grabbed him by the seat of his pants and carried him over to that big mud hole next to the statue of St. Ignatius. Then I dropped him. Face first. I showed him a thing or two! Then all them little snitches that was with him went runnin’ off and told that cranky school attendant. She’s the one who sent me here. What do ya think they’ll do ta me?”

“They might make you stay after school,” said the girl, “and you’ll have you write something on the blackboard like a hundred times. I’ve done that a few times. Billy Munson has had to do it like a gazillion times.”

“Ha!” said Craven. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Mr. Danger?” said the principal’s secretary. “Mr. Starch will see you now.”

“Better you than me,” said the girl. "And try not to cry, mister. Mr. Starch hates it when we do that. He’s a meanie.”

As Craven Danger got up from the bench outside the principle’s office, Billy Munson was coming out the door.

“I hope you get the paddle!” said Billy. "Like I just got. And when he makes you pull down your trousers, I hope your wearin’ dirty underpants, mister. ‘Cause Mr. Starch gives you three extra whacks for cruddy shorts.”

The paddle? thought Craven. Cruddy underpants? I can’t see this going well at all.