A Pigeon’s Delight IP

Gold cherry

By hudsonmoon

Thu, 27 Jan 2022
  • 1787 reads
13 comments
 
 
“You ever crap on a guy happens by here all the time that wears a seersucker suit and straw hat?” said Renaldo.
 
“Can’t say as I have,” said Frederick. “You?”
 
Renaldo preened a feather and eye-balled some frozen dog dung across the street.
 
“I do it all the time. If for no other reason than he wears a seersucker suit in the middle of January. In the middle of January! Who does that? If you ask me, he’s got it coming. So I’m all in on giving it to him.”
 
“Serves him right. The middle of January? Sheesh . . .”
 
“Hey, you wanna know something funny?”
 
“Go on. I could use a good laugh.”
 
“Well, it’s not that kind of funny. It’s the kind of funny that makes you shake your head and wonder why you keep certain thoughts in your head. Like that frozen dog dung for instance. I remember the dog that done it. Not only that, but I remember the guy at the other end of the leash who didn’t bother picking it up. Guess what kind of suit he was wearing.”
 
“Seersucker?”
 
“Seersucker. Same guy. And they call us dirty birds. We’re only doing what comes natural. Only we ain’t got nobody at the other end of a leash to help clean up our mess. But this guy? No excuse. Must think he’s the king of Park Avenue or something. And he does it right in front of the Waldorf Astoria. The Walfdorf! So, you would think the doorman would pick it up, right?”
 
“I’m guessing no?”
 
“You guessed it. He kicks it to the curb and leaves it for the sweeper. The same sweeper who spends more time smoking discarded cigarette butts and eyeballing the action coming out of the Waldorf than he does sweeping up cigarette butts and dog dung. If he ever comes by this way I’m gonna lay it on him good.”
 
“Why don’t you just fly over and let him have it?” 
 
“Nah. The last time he almost got me good with the broom. He’s pretty good with that darn thing; only not for sweeping. I seen him and his buddy on break making like Basil Rathbone and Erroll Flynn with the brooms. Engaurdin’! and Touchein'! all over the place. If he’d only put the same enthusiasm in his sweeping he’d be winning medals and maybe even get himself a plaque with his name on it saying how good he done the sweeping outside the Waldorf. So, nah, I ain’t risking a feather over it. I’ll save my droppings for the seersucker suit. It’s not like he’s gonna climb up this lamppost to get me. Gives me a reason to open my eyes in the morning.”
Certificate U
Story
Craven Danger
Humour

Comments

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Ha, ha!laugh Those pigeons rule. Good to see a story about what irritates them. A lot of fun to read Richard.

Jenny. 

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Hi, Jenny. Just wantd to tell their part of th start. Pigeons get a bad rap. Glad you had fun with it. x

Rich

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I bet new yawk pigeons sound EXACTLY like that hudson! smiley

fabulous photo too!

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

They do, Claudine! I hear 'em every morning. Wanted to tell their story. Ha. x

 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

That photo is AMAZING! Looks like it should be in a posh magazine or gallery, and then the story is also amazing, only about posh pigeons :0) Really enjoyed. Even the pigeon names are great. Just perfect, cheered me up reading, thankyou!

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thanks, DH. Glad it cheered you. I pass the Waldorf vey morining on my way to work. One street over is St. Bart's church where most of the pigeons hang out. This bunch is always out their staring over at the Waldorf. Fun to imaginwe what's on their mind.

 

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

Great photo, and great pigeons, hudson! I have a friend who has a bird phobia, and she contends that pigeons especially are evil bastards who have got it in for humanity. I'm going to send her this. 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Thanks, Jane. Hope she likes it. I think they're misunderstood. Just don't go walking under any lampposts. Unless you're collecting specimens, of course. Ha. x

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Many thanks of the cherries, Eds.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This brilliant story is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Please share/retweet if you enjoyed it too

 

Submitted by marandina on

You have an affinity with pigeons, Rich. Class as always. Congrats on the POTD. Paul

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

That poor sucker of a sightseer in their seersucker suit. New York, New York -you couldn't make it up haha. Enjoyed this, Rach