Was the Night Before Christmas, See?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX3m46PsRqU

It was the night before Christmas, see?
When all thru da flat
Not a critter was fussin’
Not one smelly cat

The socks wit’ da holes,
was nailed ta da door
In hopes that ol’ Santa
Would soon hit da floor.

The kids was all brawlin’
For a spot in da bed
While a dozen brass knuckles
Danced in their heads

Wit’ Ma in her nightie
An’ me in my drawers
My head hit da pillow
An’ I started ta snore

When out on da ledge
I heard such a fuss
I jumped from my bed
Ta see what it was

I ran ta da window
And pulled up the sash
An’ was hit in da face
Wit’ a long snowy lash

Da moon was aglow
Like a shiny half-dollar
It lit up a moose
And I let out a holler

‘There’s a moose out da window!'
I yelled ta my spouse
An’ he’s draggin’ a sleigh
Up da side of da house!’

‘Ya drunk too much egg nog’
She said wit’ a sneer
'An’ vodka, 'an rum cake
An' six kinds a beer’

She no sooner said it
Then what do I see?
But Santa himself
An’ he's lookin’ at me!

“Some one call da cops,” he sez. “I got eight dead reindeer out in da backyard. We were takin' a pee break before hittin' the roofs, when this moose jumps out of da bushes and stomps da hell outta my entire herd! I don’t know what da hell I’m gonna  do now!”

“Ya gonna fly dat moose!” I sez. “This is Christmas, see? An’ ya gotta job ta do!”

“Dash it all! You’re right!” he sez.

Then he climbs back up da chimney and I turn out da light.

“Who were ya talkin’ too?” my wife sez.

“Santa,” I sez. “I sent him back up da chimney ta finish Christmas.”

“We don’t have a chimney,” she sez. “An’ Christmas is three weeks away. You’re either gonna quit drinkin’ or I’m leavin’!”

So wit’ my head on da pillow
I spoke in a hush
A Merry Christmas to all
An’ don’t drink too much

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX3m46PsRqU