Can't Explain - September 12 2002

06.47 am another day - overcast and looking like rain - dawns. The
sun is still asleep and won't wake up for a while, well, not till it's
had a coffee and a fag.

Yesterday (11) was a special day. A lot of people thought about what
had happened a year ago in New York and a lot of other people got on
with their lives and wondered if the Sandman really will destroy the
planet in a fit of pique.

Life continues along, I accumulate debt and try to get a message to
whoever I might try to talk to. Erin has no internet access. They may
as well be on Venus for all the difference it makes. Still I am sure
they will be in touch eventually, as will all the other people I
know.

I personally believe that the more people I know around the world the
better it will be. Just so that we talk and dont end up fighting each
other.

I got two CDs of a band I found on the internet and they are okay, I
like a couple of songs on the CD a lot. I listened to them on the train
this morning.

Today was incredibly slow at work, I think I spent more time checking
for email and noting that I had no email than I did do anything else. I
did go in the chat on NME at lunchtime and maybe, just maybe somebody
will email me in return.

During the afternoon, Chris (the new bloke who now has a copy of the CD
I sent to Kit and JH) spent two hours trying to fix someone's laptop
and it still wasnt fixed by five pm when everyone left.

I left at 5.00 and got the 17.15 home. I listened to a new album I
bought today in HMV which is okay. I got in, played guitar, went online
and saw what was going down in the chat. Two girls had a major bitch
fight. I don't know why, I suspect it was because one of them was a
biker chick and the other was a skinhead girl, never a great
combination to have a happy chat. Curiously I was not going to take
sides. I could see why I might on either side but I didn't. There were
a few slaggings. I did speak to a couple of people I know which was
good.

I had tea and chatted to C and Kit. Kit got my card. I like Kit she is
cool. C is at work whenever I chat to her. I sent her two stories to
cheer her up. Life is bollocky enough and making the time to chat with
people is important to me. I have now come to the conclusion that
getting an email address is one thing, but getting a reply is another.
The only equivalent I have is going to a club twenty five years ago and
getting a phone number, which you call in the hope that their Mum
doesn't answer and tell you "no, they are out at the moment". Arghh,
sometimes I am alone on the motorbike I dont have zooming through the
countryside in search of the cafe where I will meet whichever girl I do
meet for a chat. That's it. I don't screech to a halt on the bike and
run inside leather jacket and white silk scarf flying saying "where are
you?" I just get a coffee and a piece of cake and sit in the corner
while the juke box plays rock and roll. And wait.

I went back online for a short while and just said hello and dropped my
email address. I listened to the von Bondies and Halo. I am in unknown
territory and all I have is my laptop (which still periodically refuses
to play CDs).

Maybe I will get a band together and conquer the world. That would be a
laugh.