MY LIVING ROOM - THE TRUTH.

It's chaos in here -
Absolutely the ultimate in dumping grounds;
A hoarder's paradise,
Where things fall off and topple
As they landslide over each other;
Boxes tip up anyway they can,
Disgorging all their odds and ends
Down every nook and cranny.
There's barely the narrowest footpath of carpet,
Well worn but pioneering
Through the clutter!

Tiny glass seed-beads cascade
Daily down ravines
Formed by displaced pillars
Of books and academic magazines.
No rack in sight -
So CDs waterfall from caseless stacks,
Self-mutilating, scraping their way
Along a shelf of sharp pot cats.

My jars of creams are legion,
Some in bulging drawers forgotten,
Whilst others tip their bounty
From whim-bought make-up bags....
Trying to trip me up, of course,
As I carry in a tray of tea
While searching for a niche of vacancy
On a sofa doubling as a clothing horse.

To move around this bedlam
Is like a 15-puzzle maze,
Because an avalanche of cotton reels
Or catalogues tied up with bands
Refrains from being in 'steady state'
When disturbed by rummaging hands.
Cushions in gaudy excess form a sleek piste
Over by the mantelpiece
To rescue random vases, should they fall,
Knocked down, perchance by fate.

I paint, I sew, design and draw in here;
I knock over my guitars in here;
I compose songs about space and Time -
Yet can find neither in here
Whilst falling over TV wires, computer leads
And modem plugs.
There are pockets in this room I've never seen
In years. God knows
What mutant spiders have evolved
Behind the bookshelves
With the alien bugs!

* * * *

Designer-trendy sitting rooms
Display in every Jones-like house
Uncobwebbed tie-back curtains;
Network, fretwork blinds or pastel lace
Behind whose drapes lurks bleakness as the norm -
Uncluttered, picturesque and posh;
Undwelt in, seemingly;
Scrubbed and clinical -
Boring rhapsodies in beige or fawn.

But mine's so lived in, cosy, colourful
And full of treasure trove;
The walls are mirrors, paintings, plaques,
Stained glass mosaics -
Eat out your heart, Aladdin,
I've outdone your cave in style ......
Still yet to find a Genie who
Can sort this hoarder's pile.

I did reconnaissance to find
Exactly how things lurk and hide
In all the strata of the years;
And then wrote out a detailed survey map -
A guide to every item there.
I put it in a safe and secret place .......
Alas, the tragedy is this -
I cannot, in the teeming mess, remember where!