Lonely in a Kinderhuis

They told me
That she carried a knife,
Tucked in her pocket -
Just for safe keeping.

"Stay away from her",
They said.
"Don't confront her,
She'll probably stab you"

I saw her,
Just a few times,
Skulking in the shadows.
Her spittle a white fluff
At the corner of her angry mouth.

She was 14.
A child,
A baby
Abandoned.

It's hard to explain,
And description won't do the trick
But just imagine this -

Your mother,
Warm and inviting
A castle built up around you
The protection in her breast.

REWIND

You are 7
Your mother is drunk again
Causing accidents
You've hardly slept
Your undernourished brain is baffled
Trying to squeeze sense
Through the fog of smoke
And cold sweat.

PAUSE

Then she's gone.
You're in the back of a car,
Watching your house hunch it's back
shrinking away from you.

FULL STOP

You cannot count
How many Kinderhuis's.
You can only do Maths
Using your fingers,
(It was that time in school -
the exciting one - you were learning).

"Stay away from her", they said
The strangers - they were.
"Yes" said I,
"I'll stay away".

Nobody likes an unhappy ending.