The right to play

I'm the first one in the room. And my heart beats inside me like a tipsy kettledrummer. But I'm up for it. After all, what comes next will change my whole life. That's how it feels like. As if my existence has only been a prelude until now. As if everything that has happened was only focused on this particular moment in time.

The space slowly fills up. At first it is mainly women who take place on the wooden folding chairs. Some women come on their own. Like me. But most of them enter the room in groups. Nervously chatting, joking. But the seriousness is surely visible on their faces. The tension is palpable in the look of their eyes.

Then the men come. As if they've been waiting. Like they needed a shot of courage in the café opposite the ‘For the Public Good’ building. So that they now shuffle in almost nonchalantly. Hands in pockets, chin on chest. As if nothing could happen to them this afternoon. As if their lives aren't turned upside down any time soon.

I know better. The women know better. The men themselves know better. We are not here because we want it so badly. We came here because we have no other choice. It's a calling. It's something that seems to come from above. Like you believe in a Deity. Like you think that life follows a certain direction, a path beyond any question. And that today is a day that has to happen. Because it is written in the stars, because time has simple no other choice.

When all seats are occupied, the wide doors of the room are being closed. Actually, it is not a room in which we are sitting. It is a gym that has been converted into a kind of theater. Pale garlands and limp colorful balloons are hanging on the wall and the ceiling.

The stage is nothing more than some orange boxes, on which loose sanded planks have been placed. Men with bald foreheads and sagging jeans are busy fixing the technology. We look at each other. Anxious, high-strung. Is she there yet? But more importantly, is she still alive? Is she still breathing? Can she still move?

Then we see a shadow. A thin woman, The Writer who has remained silent for more than sixty years. She who seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth after her hammer blow debut. Until last night. Then there were eye catching notes hanging on the elevator doors, the walls of the parking garage, and the trees around the Cathedral. Notes with a short, simple statement. That she would come to speak. The Lost Writer. Was it really true?

But now she's here. We see her being escorted to the pulpit. Small, rickety, brittle. And when she starts talking it is dead silent in the room. Fortunately, her voice is still strong so we can hear her.

“It was at the time that the Devil and the Archangel visited God together. However, the sworn enemies did not argue. Disagreement was therefore not what caused them to have an audience with the Almighty. It was actually something they shared in common. And what they wanted to bring to the attention of the Creator. They were fed up with their roles. They were bored with being so one-sided. The Devil hated that he was only allowed to be bad. The Archangel had had enough of always having to act like a saint. God listened attentively to both of his servants. And he actually agreed with their positions. It was all a bit too black and white. But then again, that's how he thought of it. Good and evil. And then let people choose. That was pretty much the essence of what he came up with for his creatures on earth. Then a light dawned on him. Perhaps there was a way to keep them both motivated. ‘You know, Archangel, I give you the ability to interfere with artists. And you Devil, you get to play friends with politicians.’ After some moments of silence, all three of them seemed to be very pleased with this proposal.”

As suddenly as she started her speech, the Writer unexpectedly stops speaking. But she's different now. Fuller, more beautiful, more confident. She seems to shine. Like a newly discovered sun. There is no need to support her. Free and curious see looks us in the eye. If she just has asked a question. If we have been put on the spot in this room and have to make a decision. There and then.