January 9th

I shouldn't read self help books. I spend more time reading about what I should be doing than doing what I should be doing. Saying that I am pleased I sat in a bookshop for an hour yesterday and read Deepak Chopra's 7 secrets to spiritual happiness (or something like that). Now I have the secrets I can be spiritually happy. Hurrah. Ignoring Chop's advice to keep the money flowing I made notes of the secrets instead of buying the book. I already bought a book this week (Kitty Fitzgerald's Pigtopia. Kitty is great and I want to be her when I grow up) and we are supposed to be pulling in our belts.
I rushed home and immediately put the 7 secrets into practice. I got everyone in the house to list their desires and also their talents - those things they love doing and lose track of time doing. Then I unplugged the phone and told everyone they had to be still for half an hour to listen to themselves.
Meditation.
Kit cleared off upstairs to go online - her greatest talent. (Although earlier she did decide to start writing a novel. I took her to the cafe while Bert made dinner and we talked about writing. I also told her she better not get published before I do. Bloody kids.)
While you meditate you slip your desires into the gaps between your thoughts. Not easy. My thoughts are jam packed and despite trying to meditate for the last two years I am not good at it. I nodded off several times and began to snore. Luckily Bert had nodded off too. I am happy to note he isn't further along The Path to Enlightenment than I am.
Being:
Non judgemental
Detached
Loving towards everyone
and so on - according to the 7 secrets - will not be coming easy to me.
However today I did go swimming. (One of my desires being Do Something About Joints). I am so portly that my joints are giving out on me. Every attempt to rise from the sofa is a chorus of groans and clicks and some limping until I mobilize them again. This will not do. I am not old. I am 41 - 17 in my head - and my joints are 73.
The costume still fitted - what great good fortune. Also good fortune is that I take off my glasses when I go swimming and so can't see the looks of horror/disgust on people's faces as I approach the pool.
Thirdly good fortune provided two gigantic swimmers who bobbed in the pool like hippos and made me feel sprightly. So buoyed was I by spiritual success that I swam 32 lengths without stopping.