Very Busy (For Me)

So busy am I that this morning I invented a meeting I didn't have to
go to until next Monday.

People are evidently tired of hearing me bragging about my full diary
of appointments particularly since it is such a novelty, I have
committed it to memory - complete with imaginary extra meetings.

It's quite a shock to be so busy for one who is usually described as
recklessly idle. I now have four jobs. Four. Admittedly one is
occasional days and one is one hour a week and another is one and a
half hours a week but I am still impressing myself.

Also I am at the heart of the government's social inclusion agenda
which is worth a few points I can tell you. If I ever went to parties I
could justifiably swank about this. It is almost worth becoming
sociable.

"Oh yes," I could trill, flashing my right on credentials, "I work with
travellers, mental health survivors, murderers and the arts
council."

I am also doing two courses. TWO. One is a diploma in reflexology
meaning that come June I can cure all ills with a quick foot twiddle.
The other is the City and Guilds 7307(part 2) which I have been advised
to do so I am employable as a teacher of adults. (Something I have been
doing for the last 10 years with absolutely no qualifications
whatsoever.) Still the authorities are Clamping Down. All things are
being regulated and quite right too. Can't have charlatans like me
walking into classes pretending they know stuff.

So it's all change in the Fish House. I am no longer to be found all
hours of the day and night feet up in front of the laptop smoking fags
in my pajamas. I have passed this important area of domestic
responsibility on to number one son who has left school and isn't doing
anything else (yet). He seems to be equal to the task, spending long
mornings downloading tunes off the net and occasionally stirring
himself to put a pizza in the oven. Genetics is a marvellous
thing.

And how easy it is to pass the time with this working lark too. A
morning wandering in town turns into an impromptu meeting with library
staff. They assure me that social inclusion is core these days and not
just an optional extra. I manage to keep a straight face somehow.

They have had all new computers in the library now they are something
like an ICT centre offering free net access. Happily I seat myself at
one of these new swanky black terminals and design myself a business
card. Luckily the librarian is away from the desk when I print my page
of 8 business cards in full colour. (A facility not available in the
Fish House) and so I sneak the sheet out of the printer without having
to pay.

Unfortunately the Murky Copy Shop seems to have turned into a firework
shop as I find when I cycle up there to have my cards copied. I cycle
aimlessly round the town in bright sunshine trying to find somewhere
else that does colour copies. The Copy Shop was good. They knew what
they were doing and would relieve you of your original and return you
exactly what you asked for, all cut to size and everything.

I stumble on a small stationers and enquire. A man is there with the
guts out of one of the photocopiers but I am relieved to find it isn't
the colour one. A woman behind the counter eyes the colour copier
nervously. There is a small palaver whilst a more experienced and
confident assistant bustles over and takes charge. She trains the other
assistant in the placing of the original face down and in button
pressing. We all three watch the copier with silent reverence as it
regurgitates the copies of my business card sheet.

I leave the shop with my copies and realise that somewhere between
parking the bike and handing the original over I forgot to ask for it
to be copied onto card. I now have flimsy business cards but don't have
the heart to return and ask for something else. I don't want to be
responsible for shop assistant nervous breakdown.

I cycle home wondering why it is so knackering. I realise half way up
the hill that it's because I haven't adjusted the bike seat and am
cycling in 10 year old position. It's odd I didn't notice earlier that
my knees were coming up to my ears.

When I get home I have to get the scissors out and cut all my business
cards up. The stationers didn't have a guillotine. As I snip I realise
the world of work is constantly full of challenges.