G: 10/25/02

Work Diary, 10/25/02

Yesterday I read a letter-to-the-editor in our local newspaper. The
woman who wrote the letter was outraged - just outraged! - by the toxic
waste that cigarette smokers force others to deal with everyday. "And
that's EXACTLY what it is," she wrote, "Toxic waste!" One could almost
see her hand shaking in self-righteous fury as she penned her indignant
little missive.

Now, remember, this is an American citizen who wrote the letter.
Granted, her point about the casual inconsideration of some smokers is
well founded; smoking is smelly and not to everyone's tastes. But
though I've never met the woman, I bet I can safely make some
assumptions about her. I'll try not to be nasty.

First, she undoubtedly owns a car. If she lives in Colorado, there's a
fifty-percent chance that she owns an SUV. Any American schoolchild
over the age of ten understands the basics about car ownership: Gas
usage, oil changes, antifreeze, emissions, tire rubber. If the woman is
a dyed-in-the-wool patriot, she owns an American car (don't even get me
started?); if not, she still probably buys a new car every few years.
Ever been to a landfill? There's something spooky about all those
lonely, rusted out cars with dim headlights and no wheels.

As it's 2002 and Americans no longer live in teepees, chances are that
the woman resides in a house that is heated with natural gas or
electricity. In one part of Colorado, her energy may even come from a
nuclear plant. I drive past one of the electric company's plants each
day - twice, in fact. The billowing clouds of steam it produces are
pretty in a way, but don't tell that to the EPA. My partner works for
the electric company, and that plant is often shut down for its waste
emissions. If the woman lives in an older house that uses coal, she's
doing an even better job of mucking up the environment.

A quick glance in the woman's pantry would undoubtedly reveal plastic
container after plastic container. Does she have trees? Does she mulch
her leaves, or - like most Americans - does she rake them up in neat
little piles, scoop them into plastic garbage bags, and then leave them
on the curb for the dump? What kind of detergent is she washing down
her pipes after doing her dishes and laundry? When she's finished with
batteries, does she toss them into her regular garbage, or dispose of
them correctly (a procedure that would confuse a rocket
scientist)?

My favorite smoking story involves a friend who was standing on a
corner, minding his own business and smoking a cigarette. A woman drove
up next to him, stopped, rolled down her window, and shouted, "You're
polluting the environment!" Then she sped off in her BMW. This is akin
to those car bumper stickers that say, "Love Your Mother Earth." Yes,
yes, I know - every little bit helps, but give me a break.

The woman who wrote that letter should pause, take a deep breath
(preferably of distilled air free of toxic waste), and decide which of
the following best applies to her:

"The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open
spaces surrounded by teeth." - Charles Luckman

"It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you
with the same
godlike and superior impartiality." - Arnold Bennett

"People in glass houses should not throw stones." - Unknown

I should probably pay attention to that last one, because never in my
life have I more felt like flicking my cigarette butt at another
person.