G: 4/7/03

Work Diary, 4/7/03

Tidbits from a currently lesser mind:

1. This weekend I started putting my book together. I cut-and-pasted
thirty chapters and ended up with a total of 56,000 words. Altogether,
I have about 70,000 words. I'm starting to resent this focus on the
number of words; it's as if I have some unknown goal that will make
editors happy regardless of quality.

2. Yesterday I did eight loads of laundry. That's not unusual except
for the epiphany I had while I sat on the floor spritzing our underwear
with Spray-n-Wash. The epiphany was this: Men's underwear is the most
disgusting thing on Earth, no matter how clean the wearer. If I had a
car accident this instant and was stripped to my skivvies by the EMTs,
I wouldn't be embarrassed, but God help me if a guest started rifling
through my laundry basket.

3. We're gearing up for mayoral elections here in Denver. One
interviewee, a Hispanic woman from my neighborhood, told a reporter
that she was voting for Alazar, because what choice did she have, given
that he, too, is Hispanic? No wonder Thomas Jefferson was so worried
about the "one man/one vote" concept.

4. I spent way too much money this weekend. Everyone I know is having
money problems and I think my subconscious response is to steadily work
my way through each paycheck to make up for it. Also I have this need
to buy things for other people. I don't know why; maybe it's an
insecurity thing: "Give or others will hate you." Or maybe (I like this
one better) I believe saving money is the antithesis of the misery of a
job. Why work if you're going to live like a pauper?

5. I got my hair cut on Saturday. The woman who did it held a
conversation with another customer the whole time, which means she took
too much off the top and now my cowlicks are sticking up all over the
place. Also my sideburns are uneven. I wish it would all just fall out
so I could move on.

6. Yoga Update: The not-so-new and still atrociously stinky Yoga mat
has found its way into the closet, crushed under the wrapping paper
box. I don't know how it got in there but I swear I'm taking it out
tonight so I can do some exercises. I was lying on the couch this
weekend and both my feet and one arm went numb, which says something
about my overall elasticity.

7. We have ants in our upstairs bathroom. I'm not sure what to do about
them. My partner often lies in the bathtub eating breakfast and leaves
the dishes behind for the dog, but the ants must be finding some
leftovers. I don't typically kill bugs, since the spiders (which I
don't mind) take care of that gruesome business, but the ants are
annoying. One made the trek onto my bed and bit me on the perineum last
week, an unpleasant experience that was surely more unpleasant for the
ant.

8. The Writing On The Wall: Above the men's urinal here in my office
restroom, someone has taped up a sign that says, "A Kleenex is the
proper method of disposing of one's boogers. Please quit subjecting the
rest of us to your disgusting habit of wiping them on the wall. Thank
you for your cooperation." Incredibly, the sign has worked. Now, if we
could just work on the gentlemen's aim?