At a guesthouse in Rhyl they found Hell

At a guesthouse in Rhyl they found Hell
hidden beneath the grating in a fireplace.
The ash was deposited onto the nearby railway line via a kind of
sluice,
leaving the spawn and filth free to breathe.

A scientist went in - emerged five hours later
with tears steaming up his lenses
and a black cat-like thing biting his ankle

What was it like? We asked.
Pure freedom! He said, adding, On the condition that, unseen and rarely
heard of,
a sea of crude oil is afire in the distance,
a race of half-men are routinely mutilated
by God and his warriors and Beelzebub
may talk about the future without irony.

The government has written Hell off as 'Disappointing,' filed it next
to Hull and sealed off the grate.
Passengers who regularly travel the line are said to be shocked.