Am I Worthy of It?

This isn't how I imagined it, how I imagined us.
Turning away from the mirror, this game is over.
If only you could see how deep my love truly is.
Start over one last time, for the hundredth time.
I've tried to see but I am blind.
You are awake and it hurts even more.
I take a long drag from my cigarette and watch you.
I feel everything as it confuses me, should I continue?
My only life. What is it you want to do?
Will you look into my eyes and watch as they die?
Only questions remain, but no one knows.
Climb a ladder into my mind, see for yourself.
Give me faith and be kind, this is the hardest thing I've done.
Show me that way again, is it still there?
I'm still trying.