21st Century If.........

If you can drive two miles to the gym
To walk two miles on a treadmill
And are happy to pay for that honour
If you can endeavour to save time
By using the latest technology
And then squander that time
On thoroughly pointless endeavours

If you can wear Spanx,
But still have the breath
To say that looks are unimportant
If you are soothed by modern mantras;
'Forty is the new sixty'
Then don't be dashed when you discern,
Death is still the old death

If you can borrow money
To fill your life with luxuries
Accept that the resulting fulfilment
Is only loaned
If you claim to value the riches,
Of friendships true
Yet are truly sickened
When your friends become richer than you

If you can be devout and holy
Yet accept that your religion
Maybe worn out and full of holes
If you can speak out of your arse
But convince others,
That your arse is highly educated

If you scoff at the vain man
Who turns to look as he passes his reflection
Yet leap to tweet your face off
And feed phantom followers
Futile fluff of your own reflected passings

If you can speak of carbon footprints
And recyclable packaging
But yield to the latest package deals
And celebrate footprints of the moon

If you're happy to swallow the earth
Knowing that it is poisoned
Then you are a modern man
A paradox through and through