SWEET THIRTY-FIVE

“Uh—It’s tight at my waist” I shouted on Nora after trying that long gown on.

“But it’s the same size as the last one! I think you have added on some weight. You look a little puffy than before! “

I opened my eyes in surprise and looked at her furiously and shouted again “ I look puffy…how dare you call me that…it’s you who have made it wrong and you are blaming me for it. Give me the last one. I’ll try it on and you will see it yourself! PUFFY…huh!”

So there I was putting on or should I say, “trying hard” to put on my old gown but it was tighter than never before. I could almost not breathe. Nora was right. I had added on to my weight. I quickly removed the gown, threw it in anger, dressed back and went to to shout at Nora once more. “ I think I’ll have to change my fitter. You are not worth it.” Saying this I opened my purse, took out some money without counting how many they were, threw them at Nora and rushed outside leaving my gowns there. “ PUFFY…PUFFFFYYYYY…PUFFFYYYYYYYYYYY…” the word echoed in my mind while departing down the stairs. While driving, I planned my ‘diet plan’ and thought to follow it as strictly as possible. And I decided to join the gym again and to start swimming and jogging and whatever else that could be done to remove the fat off me. Such a bad day for me. Everytime I looked outside my car a big fat man or even a bigger fatter woman passed by. The whole world seemed to be PUFFY today.

“Oh my God! I had to go to the doctor. Huh!” I completely forgot about my appointment with Dr.Aline.So I reversed my car back from where I was and headed towards the hospital. My appointment was of 10 AM and there were only fifteen minutes to go . I did not want to miss it at any cost as I had already missed three of them before. But that was not my fault. It was because I watching that show “DIET AND HEALTH” one day when I missed the first one and I don’t exactly remember why I missed the other two but I am pretty much sure that missing them was not my fault very much like missing the first one was not my fault. Uh! Whatever it was. I had to reach there in 10 minutes so I increased the speed and drove as fast as I could.

There I was. Looked at my wrist watch. It was sharp 10.Thanks God I did not miss this one which would have been the last or otherwise I would I have been sued for wasting the appointment sheets. I rushed towards the corridor where my doctor’s room was located, and when I was just few steps away my heel suddenly and very unexpectedly broke off and there I was on the very clean and tidy floor. A devilish child standing beside the door chuckled but the look I gave him made him run to where his mama was. I hate kids. I just HATE kids. Especially kids who laugh when they see someone fall. Two men came to help me get up but I shooed them off. With that broken but still half attached heel of mine I walked towards the room and opened the door without knocking “Hi, I am Claudine. I have an appointment”
And before Dr.Aline could say whatever she wanted to I entered in. Dr.Aline looked at me as if I were an alien. I looked back at her as if saying her that I am not. Then I gave her a fake smile and she gave even a faker one and I started “ So, are my reports ready yet?”

She had a file in her hand, probably my file with my reports. “ They sure are.Congratulations.You are to become a mother. Your pregnancy test is positive” She smiled back, not a fake one this time and handed me the file which I wished had reports not belonging to me. I looked at the report and felt like tearing it to bits.” POSITIVE”…”PUFFY”….”PREGNANT”…all these words rang like some bell in my ears. I kept on looking at the unexpected report and then looking at the doctor I gave another fake smile. “Thanks”. I left the room and was back again in the same corridor where I fell. That kid was still standing there. Uh! I just hate kids.

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“John I am pregnant” I gave this bad news to my ONLY husband.

“What! WOW!” he jumped with excitement over this bad news and hugged me and kissed me and said “ Oh my darling! Thank you so much! Atlast we became parents” Another kiss. I pushed him saying “ J-O-H-N! I thought you wont like the news. You don’t like kids. I don’t like kids. Then what’s the point of having one”

He looked at me in surprise “ Oh honey…. I love kids and this little thing inside you is OUR kid and there is no point of not loving it!”

“Its all because of you John. I told you that night that it’s not the right time. You were after me. You were so excited…. Huh…its always you men.Sex-philic!”

“Heeyyyy…you enjoyed it ,did not you? You wanted to repeat it over again. Remember?”

“Oh just shut-up. I never told you to repeat it again. I never enjoyed it!”

“What…you never enjoyed it. I can even prove it to you that you enjoyed it more than I did”

“Prove…what proof?”

“Uh…eh…umm..well i have got its video.”

“What! John.You recorded the whole thing. Disgusting”

“I had to check the video recorder of my mobile. They say it can make a 30 minutes long video…so that’s the proof”

“30 minutes…we had it for thirty minutes…never!”

“Oh yes we did darling and you enjoyed more”

“No way. Huh…I don’t care who enjoyed and who did not .All I care about is getting this little devil aborted. Look at me. This thing has made me look puffy. I have added to my kilos. You know, my shoes’ heel broke off while walking. I have become damn heavy for my heels. I don’t want to get disfigured. I’ll talk to the doctor tomorrow first thing in the morning”. My figure was very important to me. I had managed to look as slim as possible all these years. No one ever called me PUFFY before.Grr.Puffy.Huh.

“Aborted? Are you mad? You’ll kill our child?”

“The word is abort, not kill John. I am only 35.I never thought of having a kid before 40”

“Oh ! My baby is JUST 35…SWEET 35!Eh…” he said in a sarcastic tone

“ Its like we got married just yesterday and today we are having a baby. Don’t you think its weird!”?

“Weird? We married just yesterday…and yesterday was like 9 years before?”

I rolled my eyes.” I don’t know. I am getting it aborted and that’s final!”

“No. You are not”

“Yes I am”

“No…you are not”

“Fuck you” I shouted. I ran to our bedroom and slammed the door shut.

“I’ll fuck you and give you another kid and add more onto your weight you fool,” he shouted back. Well every action has a reaction.

“Shut-up” I shouted back again and waited for his reaction but he did not react. It was always he who stopped a fight by remaining quiet. And I usually ‘barked’ at him. Sometimes he called me Kate. Kate was the bitch next door. This made me shout or should I say bark even more. WOOOFF.

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The next day I went to the hospital, managed to enter the room without any heel broken and said “ Doctor, my husband and myself, we both are not very much happy on the idea of having a child. I want to get it aborted.”

“Hmm…Are you sure?. Because its your very first child as far as I know and aborting the first child can be risky if you become pregnant again. I’ll advice you to think over it again”

“I have…I mean we both have discussed it and we are sure we don’t want the baby” I lied. John was very much excited about the whole thing.

“Well…it’s your wish mam. We have some formalities to be fulfilled before the abortion which will require both your and your husband’s signature …so if you kindly come next time with your husband…”

I remained quiet for a minute and then said “ My husband is out of town for a week. Is it possible to abort tomorrow?”

She smiled and replied, “ I am afraid we cannot do the abortion unless and until we have both of your signatures. It can create problem for us later on”

“But when we both are willing for this,what’s your problem!?!”

“I am sorry mam”

“Huh…hell with your official formalities…” saying this and banging my feet on the floor I stood up, turned towards the door, opened it, put one step outside and before closing the door back turned with my hand closed into a fist and raised my middle finger. Without waiting for any comment from her side I stepped out.

I still had hope. I drove towards another hospital but had to face the same problem. So, finally. I just took that form which required both of our signatures and decided to force John to sign it. While walking towards my car I sat on a bench in a nearby park to relax for a few minutes. Reading that form I made several plans to convince John to sign it and let the abortion happen when I felt the earth quaking. No, it was not the earthquake. I, too, thought it was but when I turned my head back I saw something really horrible…yes I must say HORRIBLE…a big fat lady who I am sure was more than 2000 pounds was laughing like a giant horse with lots and loads of her kids, one of them hanging from shoulder like a shoulder-bag, another like a back-pack, yet another like a basket of fruits and the last one was hugging her from the front. With all these species hanging here and there ,over and above her she still had plenty of space left on her body for more. She probably did not know what condoms are because I could see two more running from behind towards her .The only thing missing was a NOBEL PRIZE in her hand. This scene terrorized me even more. I could feel my mouth and eyes open wide. “This is not my future” I thought and ran from that spot.

Once inside my car I thought of signing the paper all by myself because there was no need to be too honest to make John sign when I knew how to copy his signature. But, my stars were against me. John after returning back from work saw that form and questioned me and shouted at me and I answered him and shouted at him back, but as always he was the one who calmed down. We did not talk for the next 30 minutes. Finally he broke the silence. He stood up and came towards me. Sat beside me and held me tightly in his arms “ I love you darling and I love our baby too. Why can’t you forget this abortion thing sweet heart.?”

“It’s making me sick. I haven’t slept for 3 days John. Did you notice? You did not…because you were snoring like a dragon all these days while I was flying away with owls. I don’t think I can have baby at this point of my life. I don’t want to have one. Its all your fault.”

“Why don’t you understand? Just think deeply darling”

“I have…look at me John. Just look at my tummy. It’s growing bigger. I am getting disfigured”

This made him angry again “ Hell with your figure Claudine. You have become pencil thin . The day is not far when you’ll completely disappear and the only thing left will be your voice. Huh…your tummy…looking at it I cant even think of your body having a womb to carry a child...eh!”

“What? you say I don’t have a womb? You mean I am womb less J-O-H-N”

“Forget it!” his tone became warm again. He wanted to say something else but he simply leaned over and kissed me hard on lips. His kiss was warm but I felt as if he was transferring sperms into me through his kiss. He was making me have more and more babies… like a fish… or frog…or…! I pulled myself away and left the room.

I was lying on my bed looking up at the ceiling when he entered inside. I looked at him and turned my head quickly because he appeared to be like a sperm. His head like that of balloon and his waggy tail. So many of these inside me had shown their work with such efficiency but the output …the output was very terrifying for me.

“John, you said you love me!”

“Yes I do dear”

“If you love me then you sure can do anything for your beloved”

“Don’t tell me to sign that paper”

“John pleaaaaseeeeeeee...I beg you….”

“If you love me Claudine then don’t get our baby killed”

“ J-O-H-N”
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On breakfast table at morning I don’t know what happened to John but whatever did happen, happened for the best. He took the form and signed it and not only this but he went with me to the hospital to confirm that he has actually given the permission for the abortion. I could not believe it. While signing the paper he just said one thing “I love you more than you love me”

Finally the day came when I was lying on the bed and was been taken to the room for my abortion. John kissed me hard before they took me away to the room. His kiss was warmer than before and he did not look like a sperm today. He had tears in his eyes and looked like a father whose baby was about to be KILLED. I kept on looking at him for a while. The ward boys pushed my bed, John sent me a flying kiss and looking at him I said, “I am sorry “. I knew he had not heard it.
While being there in the labor room waiting for the doctor I closed my eyes, still lying on bed and tried to rethink over it again. I could hear John “I love you”…”I love our baby”….”think deeply darling”…. did he really love me more? No…I love him more…. its because I shout at him more! Huh… had a constant feeling of doing something wrong. I opened my eyes and saw two doctors standing in the room discussing something. I got up and sat on the bed. They looked at me with a question on their face. I said “I…I…I want to go to the washroom.” They looked at each other and then at me. I looked at them and said “Umm..actually…I want to talk to my husband”. They looked at each other and then at me .I looked at them “ Will you stop staring suckers and take me outta here. I don’t want any abortion…JoooOOOhhhNNNN”

So there I was with John.” I love you more John” we kissed and made up!

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9 months had passed. My baby knocked at my womb. Yes, I am not wombless! It was actually 2 days before the day told to me by the doctors. John luckily was at home so he carried me all the way to his car and rushed towards the hospital. “Don’t push hard darling. Wait till the hospital comes. Don’t let it out”

John was irritating me. ” …It’s a baby not popcorn you pea-brain. It won’t jump out.”

“But don’t push hard…we are very near….”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

I don’t know what happened. All I remember is that John was sitting on a chair next to my bed with a baby in his arms when I opened my eyes. He smiled and kissed me “ Thanks honey…it’s a girl”

I got up and sat and took the girl in my arms. She did not look like me. Not like John either. She rather looked like Kate. No, not the bitch next door. She looked like Kate Winslet from Hollywood. The super star. I am sure Kate would be like her when she was born. Kate….WOW…I got a name for my baby. I kissed her on her forehead and looking at her I wished her to grow up just like me…slim and smart!

And did I tell you, I am not 35 anymore. I am SWEET 36!