Lettuce

Lettuce prey for the lost soul of lettuce
'Leaves' behind a folorn piece of corn
That was'corn'to be wild. Mild is jalapeno
In disguise pretending he is the master of cool
When in reality he scorches like a blow torch
And leaves the mouth arid,prickly and parch
A bit like a nasty mans' darting tongue
Or a smokers' dusty, musty furred up lung

Potato. Sweet potato. Sees all with its eyes
As plentiful as smokers dusty fusty lungs
Tubers can't play a tune(but they do at 11O'Clock)
The jazz swinging tubers groovers in their dinner jackets
Peeled babies, King Edwards, Maris Piper pipe
Just remember after all this to wash them and wipe!
Onions make your eyes water but not a Potatoes'
Who don't have toes but wear clothes and a jacket
And posh peeled stuffed ones cost a packet

Tomato, Pimento, Potato. Chard is a bard of veggies
Tells all his stories to bored tired aubergines who
Are similarly dressed without viniagarette in jeans
Like potatoes who wear jackets with eyelets and plackets

And harbour secret desires to mate with Beans
Haricot, kidney, Baked, runner, refried or Borlotti
Marry a haricot harlot who flashes her bean bits
Sizzle a flash in the pan wham bam thank you mam
Like a horrid man in a potato jacket with a tongue

And a carrot is a mean complex orange in stick
With all that Vitamin A boy they can see in the dark
With darting carrot eyes they seek out v.quick
A stray shallot not a harlot but a Lady of Shallot
Shallittle, shalot of good that will do,ooh fancy
a French bean full of beans that flirts and is chancy
Asparagust of wind, me thinks, after the beans!
And asparachutist floats down with a carrot so mean
It wouldn't give itself any money. Broccolic tum
Cabbage Babbage counting machine seen in green

Frisee fisbee kale and hearty a heart of lettuce
Cauliwouldn't star in a gushing movie about yam
bam thank you mam - the haricot harlot is in it also
Runner bean run run in circles and evades the pan
And so do all of these when they see the cookery man.