Drowning

Drowning

Here I am.
If you looked at me you couldn't tell,
It's a stealthy disease, creeping up on you,
Then merciless, no fast release,
Just suddenly stealing months of your life
And handing you back memories,
Five years later,
Of the few good days.
I have lost Time,
I can't remember how I lived,
What I did when.
And now I'm on the road,
Working my way back and up,
Drowning in every breath
As if the air is too heavy
And I can't swallow it down.
I'm struggling in the current,
Walking in wet clothes,
The corridor a riverbed
Drag, drag, dragging me back,
Feet sinking in a hard floor that's
Deep like sand,
Weight on my shoulders breaking my back.
Tell me how to find the motion I once had
Because, for the life of me,
I don't understand.
I eat well, but have no energy,
I have not abused my body
So why does it torture me?
Why does this&;#8230;THING dog my brain?
Losing words for me,
Making thinking when tired a strain
And, always,
Frustration,
But never pain.