Guilt

Guilt

An ugly feeling deep in my stomach
Like a sharp-edged stone swirling around
And if it draws blood then I deserve it
I can cough it up and draw my
Apology in red on the ground
On the walls on the trees on everything around

Tears sparkle my eyes and my vision blurs
I didn't mean to say it I didn't think you heard
And I wish I could take back all the cruel words
And swallow them down
And suddenly the boundaries are coming down
I'm catching my own guilt in my hands

I shouldn't have said that I didn't mean it
It was just a spur-of-the-moment falling down
I didn't mean to say it quite so loud
I'm sitting here with both feet in my mouth
And my conscience is screaming far too loud
I think my eardrums are going to burst

Because guilt is a heavy crown
And my head hurts - it's weighing me down
I'm holding my hands up to my mouth
Trying to force an apology out
But it won't come
Whatever I've done to you
You hurt me first.