H) Equine Heroes - Horses To The Rescue!

Equine Heroes - Horses to the Rescue!
By Jenny Pickup

I ride out with my friend Fiona every week on her two horses. One
Thursday towards the end of March, we set off as usual down the country
lanes, happy to be out but the four of us all rather bored at the
prospect of yet another bridleway-less hack, Foot and Mouth having put
paid to anything but roadwork for the past month. We wended our way up
past the church and turned along the road that led to the next village,
chatting away happily (grumbling about FMD, actually!).

As we turned a corner, we came across the hilarious sight of a car
drowning in a large lake of water! The flood was about twenty metres
long and spanned the road, the drains on either side hidden well under
the surface, blocked by mud and debris. A man, probably in his
thirties, was sitting in the Citroen, talking into his mobile phone.
His car obviously hadn't felt like a swim that day and had died, right
in the middle of the flood!

We rode into the lake and up to the car, both humans and horses much
cheered by the unexpected entertainment. The water came well over the
horses' knees as we pulled up next to the vehicle, four pairs of ears
pricked as we listened to the man trying to explain to the RAC exactly
how silly he'd been. Giggling uncontrollably, we informed him of his
location - he had an appointment, and had taken the wrong turn-off into
the village - he hadn't needed to come that way at all!

In no hurry to leave the comic scene, we carried on chatting to him. He
was trapped in his car, stranded in the flood - the water higher than
the bottom of his car doors. He soon realised that the water was, in
fact, leaking in - not only that, but it was doing so at an alarming
rate, and the car was also sinking gradually into the mud! He quickly
re-arranged himself so that he was squatting on the seat, the brown
water already several inches high inside the car and rising!

As the water began to flood the seats, Fiona and I decided that there
was nothing else for it - we had to rescue him! Fiona took control and
told him to open his sunroof and climb out onto the roof of the car. He
scrabbled around inside, gathering up all his important papers and
stuffing them into a plastic bag, adding his keys and his mobile phone.
He then hauled himself up through the open sunroof and onto the top of
the car. He passed me the plastic bag, which I then handed to Fiona.
Her four year old Andalucian, Cheeko, who leaps sideways at pheasants,
umbrellas, funny-looking logs and other such hazards in a style that
surpasses anything the Spanish Riding School can do, didn't flinch as
she grabbed the package and rode out of the water, then dropped it
carefully onto the verge!

Next - the daring rescue! I manoeuvred my stately grey gentleman,
Chalkie, up beside the car, getting him to leg-yield in close to the
vehicle. Once we were in place, Fiona ordered the poor man to jump from
the roof of his car onto Chalkie's large, wide bottom in her best Pony
Club voice. He looked at the horse, then back to her, then down to the
flood, then at his pristine suit-trousers, shirt and tie. I don't think
he'd ever been that close to a horse before! Taking a great breath and
an even greater leap of faith, he jumped onto the hairy bum and
scrambled into place behind the saddle. Chalkie stood like a rock, but
I could feel him thinking 'What the&;#8230;?'

'Ready?' I asked, as our extra passenger clung on for dear life around
my waist. I asked Chalkie to walk forwards. He took one step and then
tested a buck, but found he couldn't manage it under the extra weight.
We progressed out of the water in a succession of little hops and bumps
until we reached dry land!

'Thanks' - the rescuee sighed with relief. Then he looked down. Chalkie
is 17.1hh! I don't think he'd realised just how big the horse was -
Chalkie must have seemed smaller from the roof of the car! It wasn't
the most elegant of dismounts. He stood on the road, brushing himself
off. The black, smart trousers were decorated liberally with grey
hairs. And then came the punch line as Fiona asked him where he had
been on his way to - he was a damp-proof inspector!

It was the best entertainment I've ever had on a hack - definitely one
of my funniest ever horsey moments. Fiona and I take great delight in
telling the story to whoever will listen - it certainly cheered us up
enough to last throughout the rest of the Foot and Mouth restrictions -
just what we needed! Even better, the horses seemed to find it as funny
as their riders did - we still cannot get over how good they both
were!