My Bitter Pen

My Bitter Pen

I'm picking up my bitter pen
I'm going to drive it through my heart again
Another love song about you
I could drown myself
In all the ink I've spent on you
You've cost me a fortune in emotion and time
And you're still
Not here, not close, not mine
I'm the idiot
You're the winner
I was the innocent
You were the sinner
If I could reverse right back to the beginning
You know, I've been thinking, I'd do things differently
Up 'til now, but, strangely, on looking back
I know I wouldn't change a thing that brought me here
It's been one hell of a year
Everything has changed
Underneath and on the surface both
I am no different and yet still changed
Beyond recognition
My heart remains untouched, my hand pauses above the page
My bitter pen feels sweeter again
As it occurs to me I do not feel the same
Of course I miss you
But I don't miss you in the way I thought I would
We're not lovers now, only friends
This is us at the end.