A Strange Conversation

“I’ve never killed anyone with a shovel.”

Dave turned to Fred with a look of astonishment on his face.

“Really?”

“Yeh really. You?”

Dave smiled.

“One or two. Remember Tony Roberts?”

Fred thought for a moment and then nodded.

“Yeh, he used to own the car lot down Becton Road. Went missing about four years ago. You did him with a shovel?”

“Yeh, back of the head. Went down really easy, then it was just a case of chopping away. Took about five minutes from start to finish.”

“Where’d you take him afterwards?”

“Back to his car lot. Put him in the boot of one of his old motors then straight round to Bill’s demolition yard. He crushed the whole lot up.”

“Nice one. Another beer?”

Dave pushed his empty glass towards Fred.

“Yeh lovely, thanks mate.”

Fred got up and walked over to the bar. He caught the barmaid’s eye.

“Two lagers when you’re ready please Sindy.”

She picked up two glasses and began to pour.

“How’s the family Fred, Wendy and the twins okay?”

“Yes thanks love, all good. Your little Tina started at the College yet?”

“Yeh last week, she loves it.”

Sindy finished pouring the beers and handed them to Fred. He paid and took them over to the table where Dave was sitting. He sat down and raised his glass.

“Cheers.”

Dave raised his and they chinked glasses. Both men took long gulps of their cold beer. Dave sat back in his chair and looked up. Fred knew another question was coming. Dave always had a certain look on his face before he asked a question. He tended to look up at the ceiling, stare at a certain point for a few seconds and then BOOM, he’d fire one off.

“What about a hammer?”

Fred grinned.

“Now you’re talking my language. I love a hammer. If you gave me a choice of maybe twenty tools, I’d always go for the hammer. It just feels right in the hand if you know what I mean. Has to be a ball hammer though, not a claw.”

Dave agreed.

“Oh yes, definitely a ball.”

They both continued drinking their beers. Fred yawned. Dave shook his head.

“Keeping you up am I Fred?”

“No mate, just a late one last night. Had to take out Jimmy Martin over in Bermondsey. Didn’t get in until three this morning.”

“That was a late one Fred, still you’ve gotta take the work while it’s there. Might be months before another one comes up.”

Fred agreed.

“Tell me about it, works scarce at the moment and there’s always a foreigner that’ll do it cheaper. I’ve only done three this year and it’s almost June.”

Dave nodded.

“I know mate, not like the old days, when you could do one a week, maybe more if you got a good contract. But nowadays, well, you know what I mean.”

Fred leaned forward.

“I love our little chats Dave. It’s nice to talk to someone who understands the business. Not many of us left now. Dying business our trade.”

Dave laughed out loud.

“Certainly is that Fred, a dying business!”

Fred saw the funny side as well and they both begun to laugh. They finished their drinks and left the pub. Once outside they shook hands.

“Same time next week Dave?”

“Should be okay Fred, need to check with the missus first, she goes bingo one night a week now.”

“Okay, give us a bell and let me know.”

“Will do.”

Fred got into his car and drove out of the pub car park, closely followed by Dave behind him. Fred turned left and Dave turned right. Fred saw Dave’s tail lights gradually disappear in his rear view mirror. There was a mobile phone on the passenger seat next to him. He stopped the car and dialled a number. It rang. As it did so there was a loud explosion some distance away. Fred started the car back up again. He shrugged his shoulders. It was a shame about Dave, he’d miss him. But you just gotta take the work when it comes along.