Jolly Green Giant Saddened

Source: ThymeWorks? Correspondent Network

Dateline: The Valley

The Valley Times reported today that the Keebler elves have persuaded
Valley police to issue a restraining order against the Jolly Green
Giant.

"We are fed up with all that HO HO HO! Day and night! It's time for him
to shut up!" declared top elf Franz Schwanz.

Giant spokesman Jack Beanstalk expressed great sadness at this turn of
events. "The Giant is very saddened and disappointed. He feels
betrayed. For decades he has made the Valley fertile and provided jobs
for thousands, many of whom are customers of the elves. All he wants in
return is a little HO once in a while. This is unfair."

Mr. Schwanz is believed to have responded that "the Giant can eat my
cookies." He was unavailable for further comment.

When asked to comment, Valley resident Patricia Partizan responded
"Huh? What? Speak up! You want a HO?"

Jolly, as he is known locally, has retreated to his resting spot behind
Bear Mountain and was unavailable for comment at press time.