Brain Farts

" Brain Farts "

It was the custom, at our house, to sit quietly around the dinner table, after a leisurely supper, and talk of the events of the day. Subjects as wide ranging as the computer technology, of remote control Dentistry, and the difficulty of raising autistic children, would receive careful analysis and comment. My Father usually led the discussion, but it could often spread with the intensity of a wildfire. Sometimes, the conversation took on a life all its' own, as a barrage of ideas and comments were lobbed back and forth across the peach cobbler. New faces at the dinner table, in the person of friends and relatives, meant new perspectives and differing opinions. We welcomed them all, with the gusto of a pride of lions looking over a prospective kill. Nobody got away with generic statements or half formed opinions. If you were rash enough to open your mouth and offer comment, it was expected that you would explain and if necessary, defend your position. The give and take wasn't acrimonious, just spirited debate and honest curiosity.

It helped develop a self confidence that enabled us to logically construct opinions and articulate them in a credible fashion. To some perhaps, this assertiveness may sound a trifle forward and in need of a little blarney to soften the edges. Among the Irish however, we take it as a breezy self assurance, and expect the same from others.

On some occasions, the repartee could become comical. The unsuspecting guest might unleash a thinly supported and highly speculative point of view. We would see through it in a flash. " Brain Fart " would be the collective cry, amidst peals of laughter from those gathered around the table. The speaker was usually caught unawares by this earthy appraisal of his views. It wasn't uncommon to see a flaming red blush blossom over the poor souls face. If this didn't wilt the putative philosopher from the outset, we waded on in for the verbal coup de gras. Nobody escaped the withering intellectual cross fire. Those who managed it, with grace and style, received a grudging respect from all assembled. Those few, who passed the test, were considered worthy adversaries and valued friends.

The frankness of our approach may seem harsh to some, particularly when perpetrated on unsuspecting dinner guests. But it bred in us an intellectual honesty that my Father claimed is one of the the building blocks of character. He gave us a solid foundation upon which to construct our adult persona. It was a rational means to fathom the respective merits of complex ideas and formulate opinions on the various issues of the Day. These are formidable skills that we came to value and utilize .

Now, many years later, I can still smile when listening to some pretentious bore carrying on at great length. If I listen hard enough, I can hear in my mind's ear, the happy echoes of my Family shouting gleefully, " Brain Fart. " And, I wonder how this blowhard would have fared around our dinner table .

Joseph Xavier Martin