Going to the Dogs

“Going to the dogs”

“ It’s going to the dogs” you often hear when a neighbor or friend complains about a problematic situation or institution affecting them. They meant that the whole experience was becoming negative. You of course didn’t ever hear comments like this from any dog owners. They are fierce proponents of the affability, intelligence and desirability of being around these warm hearted and fur coated mammals.

Good friends of ours informed us that they were taking their dog to “citizenship class.” “Huh?” was the mental stutter step I heard myself thinking. But I was wise enough to let it go and not to say anything. Dog owners can be somewhat porky when you question the handling of their treasured and much loved pets. In my mind, I pictured some anonymous animal trainer teaching a dog to stand on his hind legs and pull the lever in the voting booth, or bark twice when asked if Washington was our first president. Whatever works for you, I thought to myself.

It wasn’t until a July Fourth picnic at a Niece’s home, in Erie Pa., that the whole notion of “citizenship class” was explained to me. My niece, Pattie Rearick, had been training her dog, a large retriever, to respond to her commands. I mentioned my questionable understanding of the whole citizenship class idea. Pattie merely raised her eyebrows in that long suffering manner one has in dealing with older relatives who might be half dotty. She patiently explained that the animal learned in these classes how to behave around people. They were trained not to bump into people, especially children and old folks and in general how to comport themselves in an agreeable manner around the human species, a chore that can be trying for anyone, however patient.

“Ahh,” I said in my best Confucian manner of expressing enlightenment. ”Now I understand. That does make a lot of sense. And they don’t train them to vote?” I asked in my best feeble-minded manner.

Pattie merely smiled and said, “No, they don’t Uncle Joey. But maybe they should. It seems like they have more sense than people do some times.”

We left it at that. And now when I go to vote on election day, I don’t look questionably at our four legged friends and wonder whom they are going to pull the lever for. They have too much sense to vote for most of the candidates offered.

-30-
( 415 words)

Joseph Xavier Martin