Good Intentions

                                    Good intentions often aren’t enough

          When we were younger, our schools and parents trained us to be of service to others. The practice probably stemmed from our immigrant beginnings. No one around you had any financial or emotional wherewithal to meet a tidal wave of problems that beset the poor and working classes. In response, our own people banded together to meet the challenges as they arose.

         In farming communities, in particular, neighbors were long use to coming to the aid of someone who had suffered illness or an accident. Cows don’t milk themselves, nor do crops get harvested by magic. Good hearted neighbors usually stepped into lend a hand, when one was needed.

         The whole modern concept of “paying it forward” stems from these kind- hearted origins. Everyone needs a hand now and then and are appreciative of those kind-hearted souls who step in to help.

         There is an underside to all of this benevolence of  spirit. It is embodied in the cynical reference that you hear often uttered by people who try hard to help, but run into either unappreciative of unlucky recipients. “No good deed goes unpunished,” is a rueful exclamation heard when someone’s good intentions aren’t enough to answer a difficult problem. The unfortunate person in a jam often directs their ire at those trying to help out.

        My wife and I were both raised in large families. It always seemed  like the thing to do when the need for helping out either a sibling or a neighbor arose. “That is what mom and Dad would want us to do” is our reasoning. That expression is cubed for the lessons that the good nuns instructed us in, to develop in us  the rights and wrongs of the universe.

       Sometimes though, problematic situations get worse, no matter how much you try and help. The person involved in the struggle is pretty much trying desperately to keep their head above troubled waters. They only see your offer of assistance as another load that they have to carry. So, the blow back that they direct, at a good-hearted soul, is more a cry for help rather than a criticism. Still, all of us are human. Critical comments or hard feelings register adversely on the psyche.

        I guess we have to come to the realization that trying to help someone out is worth the effort, even if you do catch a little flack for the exercise. And letting a family member or neighbor flounder in adversity is never an option. I hope my parents and assorted Nuns who instructed me  realize how well they taught us.

                                                                           -30-

                                                                     (434 words)

                                                                  Joseph Xavier Martin