Where only we know (song)

By Kahdai

Fri, 24 Dec 2010
  • 1787 reads
6 comments
 

I'm not lost,
I know exactly where I'm going,
even though
there is no road
and on no map
does this place show
so how do you know?

Nobody's been there, not
since we were there once a year ago,
except maybe a little moss
and the plants we left to grow,
I know one day we'll both go
where it never again can snow
and so do you know.

Certificate U
Poem
Otherworld Stories
Travel

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Kahdai. I really like this. It could be made even better perhaps with a few minor tweaks, here and there. For instance, in the first stanza, first and second lines, 'I am not lost I know exactly where I'm going...' And then in the second stanza, first and second lines:- 'Nobody's been there, not since we were there one year ago...' The imagery with the moss and plants is really effective. Well done on this one;-) Txx

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Thanks a lot Tina, very helpful :) xx K

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Kahdai on
only for the tune, it had to be 'there na-na year ago' and theres no o sound to end with not, it does make more sense though...

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
This is much better now, Kahdai. Quite a little gem;-) xT

 

Submitted by Highhat on
a secretive poem and a very good one Kahdai ;)Pia

Submitted by Kahdai on
Thanks Pia x

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "