The Duke and Lizzie Green

It was early in the morning of the street party. We’d been preparing for days. Everyone was so excited because the next day the Queen was going to be driving through our village for her diamond jubilee and we were all going to stand outside our houses and wave. I was just helping my Nan to finish off icing the cakes for the party.

‘Nan’, I said ‘have you ever met the Queen?’
‘Yes and no’ she said.
‘How can it be yes and no?’ I asked.
‘Well’ she began ‘it all started at a street party that we were throwing to celebrate her tenth year on the throne and I was about ten………

I remember my mum had made me a new dress; it was blue with white spots and a net skirt. Anyway the tables were all set out along the street. We had hung bunting up everywhere, union jack flags swaying in the breeze as far as the eye could see. My mum had been baking for days. I was just helping to put the last few cakes out on the table when this funny looking chap on a bicycle caught my eye.

He was tall and scruffy but was wearing a jacket covered in medals. He had on shorts and stripy socks, one pulled up and the other pushed down, not matching. On his feet he wore expensive walking boots and he had a hunting hat. His bicycle was amazing covered in bells, decorated with flags, tea cups, keys, tin whistles and flowers and pretty much anything else you could tie to it or hang off it. As he stopped by our gate I saw that the basket on the front was full of tins of boiled sweets.

‘Well, well’ he said. ‘This is splendid’.
‘Yes’ I said. ‘We’re having a party’.
‘So I see, lovely, yes jolly good, mind if I stay? I could use a rest and a cup of tea’.
‘I’ll ask my mum’ I said.
Anyway by the time I got back the man had found a seat and everyone was waiting for the party to start.
‘I didn’t catch your name’ the man said.
‘I’m Jenny’
‘Well, pleased to meet you Jenny. My name’s Phil but most people just call me The Duke’.
‘The Duke’ I said ‘how did you get a name like that?’

He looked about to check that no one was listening and then he said very quietly into my ear ‘well from King George of course’.

I was about to say something else when his top pocket twitched and out popped a very pretty looking green frog.
‘A-ha’ said The Duke ‘this is my travelling companion for the trip. I am delighted to introduce to you Lizzie Green’.

The frog looked at me.
‘Hello’ I said as it seemed the polite thing to do.

The Duke winked at me and smiled. ‘My dear’ he said addressing the frog ‘this is Jenny’.

And the frog seemed to say ‘hello Jenny, I’m very pleased to meet you’.

I jumped a bit ‘did Lizzie Green just say hello Jenny?’ I asked.
The Duke laughed.
‘Well of course she did, after all Lizzie is no ordinary frog she is Elizabeth II Queen of England’.
‘REALLY?’ I asked.
‘REALLY, REALLY’ said The Duke. ‘Lizzie Green, get it? It rhymes with Queen! Clever, eh? That was my idea’.

‘Clever’ I agreed.
‘How is she a frog?’
‘Ah, long story’ said The Duke as he passed the frog a saucer of tea and a cucumber sandwich.
‘I suppose it all started just after we got married we were very busy, lots of waving, riding in cars, looking spectacular all the time, very exhausting. One day it was hot and we were tired and so we called through to the driver to see if he had a sweet or two. As it turned out he did have a tin, one of those round, impossible to open without getting showered in icing sugar tins, all cars have them tucked away somewhere. So we had a sweet and the strangest thing happened, dear old Liz started to giggle and look a shade green. After a couple of hours we heard a faint popping sound, apparently it felt a bit bubbly, and she was back to normal. Being curious we decided to hang onto the tin of sweets and when we got home we ate some more. If Liz ate them slowly she said it was tickly and she turned a bit green but then she crunched one up really quickly, burst out laughing and the next thing I knew she had gone and a frog was looking up at me!’

‘Wow’ I said looking at the frog who had just started on her second cucumber sandwich. ‘How long does it last?’
‘Oh only a couple of hours’ said The Duke. ‘But if she crunches down a whole tin she’s Lizzie Green all day’.

‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Doesn’t she like being Queen?’
‘Oh no, of course she loves being Queen. It’s just not very free. Always here and there, waving, people following you, shaking hands, photographs, having to look your best no matter what. Sometimes it’s nice not to have to worry about all that and have a rest’.

‘Surely it’s fun seeing people smiling at you and going to parties in helicopters’.
‘Oh yes’ agreed The Duke ‘but it’s also nice to sit in the park all on your own wearing odd socks. Or to stay in your pyjamas all day eating ice cream. Or say exactly what you’re thinking without ending up in the papers’.
‘But if she’s the Queen she can do as she likes’ I said.
‘Well yes and no’ he said. ‘You see people expect the Queen to be a certain way but really she’s just like everyone else. The Queen you see is just for show, Lizzie Green is all real. Sometimes it’s just nice to do your own thing so every now and then we like to travel infrognito, it’s great fun’.

‘I guess’ I said ‘but why are you telling me? Aren’t you worried you won’t be able to do it when people know?’

‘Well’ said The Duke ‘that’s the really clever bit. I’m a scruffy-looking fruitcake of a man wearing odd socks. I ride around on a mad old bicycle, travelling with my lifelong companion, a frog called Lizzie Green who sits in my pocket. Who could possibly believe such a wild story? Everyone would think you were quite bonkers, completely off your rocker don’t you think?’

‘So is it not true?’ I asked disappointed.
‘Maybe’ said The Duke and he scooped up his frog, hopped on his bicycle and rode off waving………….

‘Is that the end of the story Nan?’
‘Maybe not’ she said ‘come inside I’ve got something to show you’.

Nan pulled out a box and then another from under the stairs. ‘Postcards’ she said.

‘I don’t understand Nan’.
‘Well’ she said ‘I’ve got one from all the places the Queen has ever visited and every single one is signed “With Best Wishes from The Duke and Lizzie Green”.