When Granny got an ASBO

She stepped out of the door
And shouted at a man in a suit,
Thrust a plastic bag into his hand
To clear up after his dog,
But he just shrugged and walked off.

In the park she had to ask
The vacant, gossiping mothers
If they heard the crying child
But they just told her
To 'mind her own', smaning.

At the bus stop she begged the girls
With painted faces
To respect themselves,
But they didn’t get it
And pushed past calling her crazy

And everyone tried not to notice
Or make eye contact
As she stood bumping along, until
A pregnant lady took her hand and
Guided her to a seat at the back.

Once in town she had to tut and frown
As a lady dropped her rubbish on the ground,
And as she stooped to put it in the bin
A uniform ran up with his little pad,
Said ‘I saw you drop that’.

But as she tried to explain
Someone grabbed her bag
She clung on tight, jaw set, challenging
By accident she tapped him with her stick,
And he saw ker-ching!
Fell to the ground screaming.

Later in court he’d found a sling,
Called himself the victim,
Said she was a crack-pot, a menace.
And a fake tear slid down his cheek, dropped off his chin,
And the judge dealt the final blow
Slapping granny with an ASBO.