Advice to men who are balding

Do not look in a mirror everytime you pass one.
'Fifteen more gone today'

Don't scratch your head when it itches.
'Seven lost every rub'

Wearing a hat is not a solution;
You have to take it off at some point.
Never put a light directly above your head;
This will only highlight and reflect your loss.

Try not to stare at other slap heads on the bus.
They are not your mirror, they are your rivals.
Baldness is not a sign of virility.
Nor is it a sign of cancer.
Don't shave your head completely in Asia;
They will think you are mourning.
Even though you are mourning a loss of some sort.

Do not worry
Do not fret
Do not feel sorry
Do not regret

And remember, Michel Foucault was bald.
So it can't be all bad.