POEM: So Scared.

I'm so scared of you,
'cos I can't see your thoughts,
My breath, frozen in my chest,
as I try hard to find,
The best way to be the winner,
succeed in this contest.
As I go crazy in the maze,
'cos I can't read your mind.

If I say 'I love you'
will your eyes go cold?
Will your comradery evaporate
like the morning dew?
Will you run from me
and leave me on my knees?
Or...would you, could you, hold me,
and say, 'I love you, too'?

If I say 'I hate you',
it won't mean that I do,
I'm just too old to pull your pigtails,
to get close to you.
Can't push you in the playground,
watch you graze your knees.
So I'll graze your heart, tear it apart,
because I'm scared, I love you.

So I'll take all I can of you,
in the name of friend,
And hope that if I cannot
continue to pretend,
That you will show me mercy,
and pretend for me instead,
And let me stay in your company,
to love you 'til the end.