Unplugged

Edit:

I thought he'd shat issen,
the way he walked in, daft bugger,
with his keks bunched round his knees.

But y'know kids,
see it on the tv and it's on their backs;
pity it's not round his arse.

He's got his own mike,
said, 'owt we could do
to get him on the bill for the weekend?

He'll do I suppose, just need someone
to fill in before bingo and the main turn.

What, give him a try out now? Give o'er,
it won't wash with the lunchtime lads,

all in for a pint and sarnie,
they can be a sarkie bunch
if a beer mat's out of place.

Fine, your call mate,
I'll be in the cellar
changing a barrel.