Forever Jaded - Chapter 2

The next day came too soon, as far as Richard was concerned. He had hardly slept at all the night before, and slowly dragged himself out of bed that morning, dreading what would happen within the next twenty-four hours. He slowly opened his door and made his way down the hall to the bathroom, where he then relieved himself and washed his hands, before heading toward the stairs. He made his way down them, careful to not make too much noise as he went down them. He smelled bacon and eggs again and entered the kitchen slowly. R.J. was already there, poking at his food, and his mother was fixing more. His father was seated at the table, tapping his fingers anxiously across the wooden canvas. Richard sat down at his usual seat with a small sigh, knowing that this would be their last meal with R.J., knowing this fact and hating it. His mother put a plate of food in front of him, but he didn't bother eating it. He just stared at the table, silently brooding inside. He chanced a glance at his brother and saw him looking at him. R.J. sighed and looked back at his food as he continued poking at it. His father cleared his throat, catching their attention as his mother finally sat down at the table.

"I'm sure you know by now, Richard, that your brother...he's leaving today..." his father said slowly, unsure really of whether or not Richard really knew.

Richard gave a slow nod. "I...I know..." he whispered, and glared at the table. 'But I could go instead...I could go, and he could stay...' he thought to himself, but didn't say anything.

His mother choked back a sob and closed her green eyes. "R.J., I want you to be careful...okay?"

"I know, Mom...I will be..." R.J. whispered quietly.

There was a moment of silence. It wasn't a comfortable silence like it normally was; no, it was an awkward silence, a silence of the kind when no one knew what to say but knew they had to say something. Richard glared at the table as if it were the most hated thing in the world. There was a knock at the door, and he slowly rose to his feet when he saw that no one else was going to get it. He felt his brother's eyes watching his every move as he left the kitchen and headed toward the front door. He slowly opened the wooden door and saw a soldier standing there. His stomach churned and knotted, dread gripping his heart and holding it tightly.

"R.J. Salivor," stated the soldier. "You are to come with us."

Richard blinked. They thought he was R.J.? "No, I'm not-" he yelped as the soldier suddenly gripped his arm and yanked him out of the house.

"You're coming with us," the soldier stated in a firm voice.

"But you don't understand, I'm not-"

"You're coming with us," the soldier repeated.

"Let go," said Richard, trying to pull his arm free from the soldier's grasp. "You don't understand-"

"I understand perfectly. You don't want to go; you have to."

"But I'm not R-"

"You're coming with us."

"But I'm not-"

"Silence."

"I'm-"

He was slapped, hard. He whimpered, his head whipped to the side. "I said silence. You need to learn to follow orders, Salivor."

"But I'm not-"

He was slapped again. "Silence; that's an order. Failure to follow orders will result in punishment."

"But-"

This time he was punched. He whimpered and went silent. 'I'm not R.J.!' he mentally shouted. 'You've got the wrong guy!'

"Richard!" a voice shouted, and he turned his head to see his brother racing toward him, along with his parents. R.J. stopped in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders, examining his red and bruised cheek. "Are you okay?"

Richard nodded. "Yeah, they think I'm-"

"Silence, maggot!" the soldier snapped, and slapped him again. Richard flinched, and R.J. growled, turning on the soldier.

"Okay, listen up bub," he said. "You don't hit my brother. Got it?"

"He is to come with us; he doesn't follow orders."

His father said, "Why are you taking him?'

"Because he is on the list."

His father blinked. "He is?"

His mother said, "No, you can't take him."

The soldier looked at his mother. "Yes, we can." he looked at his father. "And yes, he is."

"...Really?" his father asked, eyes wide.

The soldier only nodded.

Richard tried to pull his arm free, but the soldier refused to release him. "Let go," he said.

The soldier glared at him. "What did I say?"

"Hmm, last thing you said was 'and yes, he is'," said Richard, glaring up at him. "Now let go."

The soldier looked ready to kill him. He grabbed the front of Richard's shirt and lifted him up off of the ground, leaving the boy's feet dangling in the air. "Why you little-"

"Stop!" said R.J. "Leave him alone!" he pried the soldier's hand from his brother's shirt, and Richard fell to the ground, his leg's failing to catch him. R.J. glared at the soldier and then bent down next to Richard. "Are you okay?"

"M'fine," said Richard, getting to his feet and dusting his pants off. "He thinks I'm you."

R.J. blinked. "What?"

"He thinks I'm you."

"And you didn't tell him?" R.J. seemed angry, his voice rising into a deep tone. He gripped his brother shoulders as he rose to his feet. "Why?"

Richard flinched. "I...I-"

"Why didn't you? Damn it, you're not going in my place, is that clear?" his brother growled and gave him a shove as he released him. Richard stepped back slightly, nearly pushed over by the force his brother gave him in the push. He stared at his brother. R.J. had never pushed him before, nor gotten this angry. "Why didn't you tell him, you idiot?"

Richard flinched again. "I-"

"Save it," his brother snarled. "I don't need to hear your stupid exuses." R.J. turned on his heel and moved back toward the soldier, who was currently talking to his parents. Richard stood there a moment, eyes watery with tears, and then turned his back on his brother, his shoulders slumped as he stood there.

'It's official,' he thought. 'He hates me...I...I should leave...' he sighed and began walking away, giving a glance back at his brother, who was standing next to his parents with a pissed off look on his face. "Love you...bye..." he whispered quietly, and then turned and ran. 'Just please come back...' he thought.

R.J. glared at the ground as he felt his anger slowly pass. With a breath, he closed his eyes, feeling bad about what he had done, what he had said. He hadn't meant to push his brother; he hadn't meant to get angry with him. He had just been worried, was all...and he had needed an outlet to vent that worry and fear on, and he had taken it out on his brother by mistake. 'I'm sorry...' he thought to himself, taking a breath.

"And you knew he was Richard, yet you still took him?" his mother was asking the soldier.

"No ma'am," said the soldier. "I thought he was him," he gestured at R.J. "I think that's what he kept trying to tell me; that he wasn't him. I kept cutting him off."

R.J. flinched. He had yelled at his brother for no reason; Richard had tried to tell the soldier. Swallowing, he turned to apologize to his brother, but saw that no one was there. 'Richard?' he thought, frowning as he looked around. His brother wasn't anywhere to be found. He looked back at his parents, still talking with the soldier, and decided he had enough time to go back to the house. Surely his brother had gone home; where else would he have gone? Turning on his heel, he ran back to the house as fast as possible, and threw the door open. "Richard?" he called. "Are you here? Look--I'm sorry..."

There wasn't an answer.

"Look, I know you're upset with me right now, but I'm sorry--I was just worried. I took my anger and fear out on you, and I'm sorry."

Still there wasn't an answer.

R.J. frowned. "...Richard? Are you here?" when there wasn't an answer, he called out louder, "Richard?"

No answer.

His heart hammered at the inside of his chest. His brother wasn't in the house, that much he knew, for he knew Richard would have answered. "Richard...where are you?" he whispered to himself, glaring down at the ground. "Please, I'm about to leave...where are you?"

His father appeared behind him in the doorway. "C'mon R.J., it's...it's time to go..."

R.J. frowned. "Where's Richard?"

"...He's not here?"

"No, he's not...I have to find him..." he turned and began to shove his way past his father, but his father grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"You can't," he murmured. "The soldier's waiting."

"I can't go yet," he said. "Not without apologizing." he pulled away from his father and went out the door, nearly crashing into the soldier.

"We have to leave," the soldier stated.

R.J. shook his head. "Not yet, not until I apologize."

"We don't have time," said the soldier. "We have to leave now."

"I can't."

"You have to."

R.J. growled. "Not until I find my brother."

The soldier sighed. "Forget about the brat and come on."

R.J. glared at him. "He's not a brat, and no."

"You're coming with us." the soldier grabbed his arm and began pulling him along. He pulled his arm back, forcing the soldier to stop.

"What part of 'not until I find my brother' don't you understand?" he asked, and growled as he began to walk away.

The soldier sighed and walked at his side. "Fine. But you only have two minutes before I call in the calvary."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." he frowned as he looked around. He didn't see his brother anywhere. Where was he? "Richard?" he called out. "Where are you? Hello?"

There wasn't an answer.

The soldier 'tisked'. "Looks like he isn't coming. Can we go now?"

"Shut up," said R.J.

"You don't tell a soldier to shut up."

"I do." he looked around. 'C'mon kid, where are you?' he thought to himself. "Richard? Please come out! I'm sorry!"

Still, nothing. The only answer he got was the howling of the wind as it kicked dust up in its wake. He growled and continued forward, calling out his brother's name. 'Please kid, I'm sorry...please come out...' he thought to himself, his eyes worried. Where could his brother be? If he wasn't at the house, where could he have gone?

"Richard! Please! Where are you?" he cried, his voice growing desperate.

The soldier sighed. "Okay, I've given you time to look for the little whelp, now it's time to leave."

R.J. growled at him. "Stop calling him names; his name is Richard. And I'm not leaving until I find him."

"Oh yes, you are," said the soldier, pulling a gun from the holster on his belt. R.J. stared at it. "You're coming, or I'm firing."

R.J. glared at him. "I'm not leaving until I find him."

"Then you'd better hope we don't find him," said the soldier in an acidic voice. "Because when we do, I'm putting a bullet in him for making us have this delay."

R.J. growled. "You don't talk about him that way, and you're not putting a bullet in him!" he snarled.

"You're coming with us now," said the soldier, poking him with the gun. R.J. sighed and looked around one last time, knowing that he could't disobey a soldier at gun point.

"Richard..." he whispered, and he was poked again. Growling, he said, "Fine, I'm going, I'm going." he began walkingn the way they had come, inwardly seeing mental images of the soldier dying. 'Richard...' he thought. 'Where are you? I'm about to leave...please don't make me leave without apologizing or saying goodbye...'

They made it out of Armasaw; still no Richard.

Richard sighed as he leaned against the tree, watching as the soldiers left the village. He saw his brother being pulled along, and struggled against the urge to run down to him. His brother hated him; he couldn't go to him. R.J. kept looking back at the village, which made Richard frown. Why was he doing that? Sighing, he had to look away before he began to run down there.

Staring up at the clouds, he felt he hot tears roll down his cheeks. "Goodbye..." he whispered.