Welcome to Paradise Chapter Twelve- Doubt

The rest of the day seemed to drag on, and I found that my mind just didn't want to focus on any of my lessons. My thoughts were on my roommate and Derek and Cassius and Linger and Hanson...I had too much to think about to be thinking about school, but I knew that was no excuse. At least, not in the teachers' eyes. They all pretty much ignored me, I noticed throughout the day. They never once glanced my way, never called on me to answer an impossible question. They never told me where to sit or who to sit by or anything. Like I'd been told, I wasn't high on their list, they weren't watching me. This just seemed to make Trey and Derek's words all the more true, and I hated it. In my last class of the day, I noticed Hanson at the front of the class, glaring back at me. I flinched involuntarily, trying to become one with the wall. He rose from his seat and made his way back to me, as class hadn't started yet. He smiled down at my with yellow teeth, his eyes narrowed. I looked up at him and tried to look as nonthreatening as possible. He snickered and knocked my books from my desk. Sighing, I bent down to pick them up, which was a bad idea. He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and slammed me into the wall, glaring into my eyes. I averted my gaze to my desk, desperate to look anywhere but at him. "Hello, Trathe," he sneered. His breath didn't smell good. It crawled onto my face and up my nose, causing it to wrinkle. "Thought you were free of me, did you?" he laughed. "Ain't not Trey around to save ya now, is there?" he snickered again and tossed me into my seat. "Be watching your back."

"Trey-" I started, but he cut me off with a harsh laugh.

"Trey is dead," he said.

I froze. "No he's not," I stated, thought I didn't sound all that sure. I couldn't be sure, not until I see him alive and breathing for myself. "He's okay."

"No, he's not," said Hanson. "They announced it last period. Trey the Monster is dead." he laughed.

I glared. "He's not an monster! And he's not dead." at least, I hoped he wasn't. My stomach did flips just thinking about it, and I didn't want to know what would happen if it were true.

"He is," said Hanson. "Why is that so hard for you to believe?" he grinned. "Is it because you're his roommate? Because you've gotten attached?" he laughed. "He's dead, Trathe. Time to start accepting it."

I shook my head, glaring at my desk. He wasn't dead. He wasn't. He couldn't be; not Trey. Not him. Derek would have pulled me out of class if he was dead, he would have told me. He wasn't dead. Hanson was just lying. He was just lying and trying to get to me. "He's not dead," I said again. "He's just fine."

"Trathe, why can't you accept it?" he asked, frustrated. "Trey. Is. Dead. Get it? D-E-A-D, dead!" he laughed and hurried to his seat as the teacher entered the room.

"Class," said the teacher. I was a young woman, with long blonde hair and sea green eyes. She smiled at the class as she spoke. "We have new faces, I see. Well, for those of you who are new, I'm Miss Olivia. Or, you can call me Tammy." she grinned and her nose wrinkled. Everyone was silent, watching her.

I looked out the window, my heart racing around wildly in my chest, my mind elsewhere. Trey. He couldn't be dead. Derek would have told me, as I kept telling myself. He would have told me. 'He's not dead,' I thought fervently. 'He's just fine. He's okay.' I prayed that was true. I prayed he was okay. But I couldn't get rid of the doubt, of the dread, the fear, the worry...What if Hanson was right? What if Trey was dead? What if he was dead and Derek just wasn't ready to tell me? I clenched my eyes tightly closed. 'Get a grip, Shadow,' I thought to myself, trying to calm down. 'Hanson's just trying to get you, is all. Trey's fine.'

But the doubt was still there, gnawing at my heart.

The door suddenly opened, and Derek appeared, his face expressionless, without emotion. I froze in my seat, my heart skipping a beat and leaping to my throat. 'Oh God...no...' I thought. Derek and Tammy exchanged a few words, and then Tammy nodded, looking at me.

"Mr. Trathe," she said softly. "Would you please go with Mr. Alasi?"

I swallowed hard and rose to my feet, barely managing to nod my head. As I passed Hanson's desk, he laughed and whispered, "Told ya so."

I took a shaky breath and reached the door. Derek ushered me out and closed the door behind me. Alone, we stood in the hallway. "What...what is it?" I asked, my throat almost too constricted so speak.

He said nothing, only turned and began walking away. I followed, keeping a safe distance, as if that could somehow stop what he was going to say. Damn it, Trey couldn't be dead. He couldn't be. That couldn't be what he was going to tell me. I prayed that it wasn't.

For what seemed like ages, we walked. We exited the building and went around to a few trees which shielded us from view. Standing in the shadows, Derek let his gaze settle on me. His face was still expressionless. His eyes didn't show anything. I gulped and shifted under his gaze.

"Derek...?" I asked, my voice a mere whisper.

"Shadow..." he murmured, his voice choked. I flinched and looked away. No...

"...Yes?" I asked.

"Trey's..." he trailed off.

I clenched my eyes tightly closed. 'Please no...' I thought desperately. 'Don't say it...'

"Trey's...he's not doing well, Shadow..."

I paused and opened my eyes. "He's alive?" I whispered, barely able to breathe from the anticipation.

He nodded, slowly. "Yes. For now. But he's not doing very well. They only patched him up and gave him some blood, Shadow. They didn't give him painkillers or anything. He's just lying there..." his eyes slipped closed.

I frowned. "But he'll be okay, right?"

"I...I don't know..." he mumbled.

"He'll be okay," I said, trying to sound confident. "He's Trey; he'll be okay. You'll see, Derek."

"I hope so, kid..."

I swallowed. "He'll be okay..."

He sighed and looked up at the sky. "Let's hope so. I figured I had to tell you..."

"...Hanson...said he was dead..." I mumbled.

Derek flinched. "No, he's not dead...just close. If he doesn't improve soon...then...they..." he closed his eyes tightly. "Then they don't expect him to..."

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. "He's going to be all right, Derek..."

"Yeah...he'll be okay..." he mumbled slowly. It hurt to hear the pain in his voice.

I sighed and glared at the ground. 'Damn it,' I thought. 'You die, Trey, and I'll bring you back and kill you myself for putting us through this.'

I heard footsteps, and looked up to see Cassius and Linger walking toward us. Their expressions were worried. "I told them to come," explained Derek. "They need to know, too."

I nodded slowly.

Cassius looked from me to Derek. "Well?" he asked.

"Is he okay?" Linger questioned.

"He's alive," said Derek. "As for okay, I'm not so sure. He's in a bad condition, and if he doesn't improve shortly...then...they don't expect him to..."

They went quiet.

After a minute, Cassius broke the silence by saying, "Hey, he's Trey, right? He'll be okay."

Linger nodded. "Yeah. He'll make it through this."

Derek smiled slowly. "Yeah..."

I looked back and forth between the three of them, praying that they were right. "He'll be okay." I prayed that I was right as well, that Trey wasn't going to die.

He had to live, right? I frowned. Why had Hanson said that he was dead when he wasn't? I shrugged inwardly. He was probably just messing with me, trying to get to me. I had to say, it had worked there for a moment, especially when Derek had taken me from class with that expressionless face.

For a moment, I had, sadly, been convinced that Trey was dead. And I hated it.