Runner 93
By littleditty
Sat, 26 Dec 2009
- 3004 reads
10 comments
This is the time when she looked up to say
"This is the time when most people do a runner..."
like she is not most people,
and is not going to do a runner,
except all she's ever wanted to be is
most people, to stop running from whatever it is,
just be most people enough to begin, like most people do,
to fall for the very next kindness she meets
because this one is a good person, and she
just wants to be intimate like most people,
to stop running from falling, and whatever it is,
except falling like most people do
into the arms of someone
who for some reason wants her too,
is also doing a runner, like most people do,
away from being alone.
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Comments
Clever pace littleD, perhaps
Permalink Submitted by lenchenelf on
Clever pace littleD, perhaps echoes theme, also spoken word; fast, as thoughts come at a tumbling run when looking at the narrators self-truth. :-) xx
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Are you still looking at
Are you still looking at this one? For me, it's good right up until the last line, it just 'clunks' a little for me, it might be the 'simply'. But how to say what you want to differently? Don't know, I'm afraid.
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Hmmm.... try "away from
Hmmm.... try "away from being alone"?
It's the rhythm of the last line, I'd like it to echo
'into the arms of someone' in terms of scanning. Do you see what I mean?
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I missed this one, ld. I
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I missed this one, ld. I admire the implied simplistic style in which it is written - one of the hardest styles to perfect i.m.o. In this poem it works beautifully and more than successfully.
A poem, many will identify with, me included.
Tina xx
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Honest and beautiful, ld.
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Honest and beautiful, ld. Well done on the cherry!
Magic xxx
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