No Better Past (IP)

Gold cherry

By london_calling79

Fri, 29 Jun 2018
  • 3180 reads
13 comments
 

Sometimes, we find better selves like lost

toys, as if we’ve dusted cobwebs

to reveal old ribcaged hearts

garbed in younger, rawer

flesh that didn’t scar

didn’t callous

didn’t let

rot set

in.

Certificate PG
Poem
Water Damage
Philosophy
Biography
Opinion
Love
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I like the idea of a better self being like a lost toy.

I don't know if you meant it to, but I find this a hopeful poem, reminds me of cutting off the mouldy bits of plants and suddenly they look so much better and you notice there were new leaves coming all the time

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

I was going for that transition Di so glad it came through! So much of what I write is bloody miserable so I forced myself to start with something uplifting. Thanks for the comment and for reading!

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

I love the aesthetic. Calligramme par excellence! Nice piece, too.

Parson Thru

Submitted by london_calling79 on

All down to the IP! Makes me want to do more like this.

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

No room for anything remotely extraneous with this week's IP, and you've managed it beautifully here. Did you find the form liberating or restricting?

ps: I saw that car for real (right down to the colour and the number on the door) yesterday afternoon which made for quite a distraction while trying to concentrate on the poem!

 

Submitted by london_calling79 on

That’s so weird regarding the car! I loved Dukes of Hazard as a kid. Or maybe I just loved Daisy Duke! As for the form it was a challenge but an enjoyable one. I always worry about word placement for maximum effect but the form took some of that worry away. I actually started from the last line as I think that last syllable is the most important one. I ended up trying to hide it a little to stop it sounding showy. Great idea from Sean!

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

I've been clearing a lot old 'stuff' out of my house recently, and this really struck a chord.  Beautifully done.

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Thank you! Been looking for a vehicle for an idea for a while and the IP really sorted it out.

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This Inspiration Point has really got the ABC creative juices going, and this is one of the very best examples.  It's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!  Please do share/retweet if you enjoy it too.  

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Thank you! There is a companion piece to it but it’s not quite ready yet.

 

Submitted by agnosticnun on

This is lovely, makes me want to start digging around in the mental closets to see what’s been discarded.

Kristi

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Always a pleasure to see what’s discarded! Thank you for reading and commenting.

 

Submitted by catherine poarch on

Lovely. Like the tardis, bigger on the inside than the outside. For some reason, the shape made me think of a shelf hinge and I liked that. I don't know why. Shelf hinges are not my thing! Anyway, it feels restorative and I really liked it.