Headache, The

The Headache

She woke up with a headache. She realized that she probably drank a
little too much a tad too often but this particular headache seemed not
to justify the two glasses of red wine she had had at dinner last
night. "Oh please don't let me be coming down with something" she
groaned as she ran herself a shower. Today was an important day for her
and she simply didn't have time to be sick.
Sarah had been working at her present job for two years now and was
well due a promotion. She was good at her job, many people had told her
so, and this morning she had a meeting with her boss to discuss her
future career prospects.
Opening her wardrobe and grimly gazing in disgust at her selection of
clothes as she towel dried her hair, she decided that if she were to
receive a pay rise, she would allocate herself an allowance to smarten
up her image. It was high time she dragged herself out of her hippy
"look at me I don't care what I look like" phase, sometimes it's good
to look good!
Deciding what to wear was particularly difficult that morning. First
she chose her best outfit, in fact her one and only smart suit
(although it can only vaguely be described as a suit). At one glance in
the mirror, however, she realized that she looked like a completely
different person than the one that had been analyzing business reports
at Spencer and Watt for the last twenty-four and a half months. Her
boss would not even recognize her, and there was no pulling wool over
his eyes, he would see through her desperation for more cash a mile
away! So she selected one of her more typical working outfits, but with
a second thought decided that ripped jeans, dirty trainers and a vest
top would not encourage him to give her more responsibility and
independence. After several more rejected choices, she finally settled
for her Emma Peel look. A tight back t-shirt and a pair of slick black
trousers. She looked smart, serious and down right dangerous! A
previous colleague had once joked that she looked like one of the
Avengers which is why she had named it the Emma Peel look, it was
either that or the "Gareth Hunt" look and although she didn't consider
herself vane, she thought she could safely drop that idea.
As usual she arrived at work late. Late, flustered and terribly,
terribly nervous. She grabber herself her usual double espresso from
the drinks machine and slumped down at her desk. Each morning, she
would spend the first half an hour of her day reading her email and
slowly waking up to the realization of another day at the office. Today
however, she was already wide awake and ready go in to Mr. Chambers'
office and tell him exactly why she should be the next manager of the
finance department.
The meeting was scheduled for 9:30, and it was still only ten past, so
she logged into her mail anyway, more out of curiosity than
anything.
And then she saw it, and dropped her coffee on her keyboard.........and
all over the Simpson's Report that she had been working on all
week.
FROM: Chambers, Greg
TO: North, Sarah
CC: Somerset, Madeleine
Sarah,
I must cancel our appointment tomorrow morning.
Please re-schedule for sometime in July with Madeleine.
Regards
G. Chambers

That was it. No: "I am very sorry but I am afraid I have to cancel ..."
No: "Terribly sorry but we will have to arrange some other time" NO!
Just...I must cancel! And re-arrange in July? It was May 18th. That was
a month and a half away, what the hell was going on? How dare he do
this to her? She stormed to the kitchen to collect some paper towels to
clear up the minor coffee related incident that was spreading like
wildfire over her desk, furiously cussing the behavior of her boss.
Maybe she really should not jump to the gun and try to be a little
understanding, perhaps he was sick, she thought. Perhaps he was having
troubles at home but when he flounced in the office looking as happy as
Larry at midday she could feel her blood starting to boil. He spent
most of the day in his office with the door closed and then disappeared
at midday without her seeing, which must have been part of a cleverly
constructed plan because she had been watching his door like a hawk
most of the time.
The rest of the day filled with various meetings and presentations, but
she had completely lost all enthusiasm and attended them all in body,
but her mind was elsewhere.
Her headache was worsening and by late afternoon all she wanted to do
was go home and crawl into her bed, but she had planned to meet Jax,
her boyfriend for dinner and perhaps a movie. They too had been
together for just over two years. "How Ironic" she thought, "Every time
I try to talk to Jax about us promoting our relationship to the next
level, he avoids it like the plague too. What is wrong with men?"
She had been planning tonight for quite some time. She had been feeling
that their relationship had been getting stagnant and they needed to
keep the wheels turning before they rusted up and stopped. They had
been dating for over 2 years, and seeing each other 3 nights a week,
but she wanted more now. She wanted for them to be together properly
and make a commitment to the future, and tonight was the night to open
discussions.
She met him at their usual caf? and as usual Jax was over half an hour
late. She giggled to herself as she tried to remember the last time he
had been on time, and amused by her failure to do so.
They chatted and drank coffee for an hour or so before she felt
comfortable enough to broach her planned topic. He knew something was
up the moment she turned her chair to face him directly and took him by
the hand. He visibly stiffened and could almost be seen to tremble as
he quickly snapped his hand away from her tender clutch to grasp his
coffee cup, his chalice of freedom, and gulped down his double
espresso. He jumped to his feet like a soldier to attention, and
claimed that he had forgotten that he said he would call in the office.
He held a brief telephone conversation outside, while she waited inside
supping hot chocolate with double whipped cream, which had meant to be
her treat for talking to him but was now rapidly becoming her companion
for the night. She knew that he would return with the bad news that he
must go to the office immediately, "you don't have to be mystic meg to
see what's going to happen next" she thought and smiled, and then began
to laugh when she realized she was smiling over her own
misfortune.
He returned with a somber face and caught her chuckling to herself, and
out of curiosity asked what she was laughing at.
"Because you have to be at the office suddenly, and it's a real shame I
know but it's your job, and of course we'll pick up where we left off
next time, and yes I know you love me and of course I forgive you and
no I'm not a psychic!"
"Wow, that's amazing" was what he said. And then he stood for several
moments staring at her, told her he would call her soon and left. And
that was that.
Normally when he left, she too would leave, but this time she stayed
and ordered another coffee. She sat in the corner for over an hour
staring out of the window. She wasn't thinking about anything in
particular, or in fact, nothing either, she was just staring as if in a
trance. To be honest, her head was killing her by this stage and all
she could hear was the pounding as her blood pulsed angrily through the
veins at her temple, as if punishing her for last nights
indulgence.
By the time she reached home, she could barely see out of her eyes
without pain ricocheting through her brain. After locking the door, she
took 4 neurofen with a glass of water and collapsed on her bed fully
dressed. As the thumping droned on louder and louder, she felt herself
falling back through the bed, into a huge never-ending dark pit. She
felt her stomach turn over like when you dive from the high diving
boards in swimming pools or on a roller coaster. She was falling and
spinning, twisting and turning with limbs flailing out uselessly for
what seemed and eternity until she fell to the floor with a thud.
She was in an office, a large office with a windows overlooking the
city. The office she had always dreamed of. It even had her calculator
her friend had decorated with nail varnish at university, she was
secretly hoping he would become famous soon and it would be worth a
fortune. Her Pink Panther clock on the wall read 10pm and Sarah was
looking down at herself still working furiously behind the desk. She
immediately felt strange, because she would definitely never be caught
working that late at night, and would certainly never dream of it. She
also was disturbed by the smart appearance of this fake, doppelganger
Sarah, she could never be so well coiffured. The plaque on the door
read "Miss Sarah North. Finance Manager" She must have got the
promotion. She hadn't realized the amount of work she would have to do
and had seriously underestimated the pressure she would be on, from the
look on the face of the girl in front of her she hadn't slept properly
in weeks.
Suddenly everything changed and she was at home. Well, a home. This
wasn't her cosy apartment, this was a bigger place, badly in need of
decoration and starkly bleak, but somehow she knew it was home. Future
Sarah walked through the door, slung her bag on the floor and lay her
coat over the back or a chair with a familiarity which reinforced her
ideas that this was her home. On the sofa lay Jax with his trainers
still on and the table covered in junk food and snacks. He grunted
several times as she spoke to him but none of it could really be
described as English. One time, she was gaining good headway, when his
mobile phone rang which was ensued by a twenty minute series of snorts
and other vocal noises to some poor listener. Finally, she made some
coffee and sat beside him on the sofa, which automatically put him into
a grumpy mood by having to take his legs of the sofa to make room for
her, and sit upright. Her reaching for the remote control to switch of
the television was his trigger for retreat and he stood, announced that
he was suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion that he simply couldn't
stay awake for a moment longer and retired to bed. Future Sarah sat in
silence and gazed out of the window.
Sarah realized that she was seeing life as how it could be, if the
things she had wanted to happened, had happened. She thought what it
could have been like for a fairytale to happen, a genie to appear and
grant her wishes. If he had asked yesterday she would have asked for a
promotion and for things to get serious with Jax. Now she had seen what
it was like, and how nothing had changed. She was still looking for
something, she still wanted more, she still dreamed of a better life.
It had nothing to do with her job, or her boyfriend, there was
something in her that wasn't happy, that was lacking something, and it
needed more than work and someone to come home to.
With a flash she awoke back in her bed. It was 8am and she felt
thoroughly refreshed with no trace of a headache. She had thought that
it was getting serious for a second there, and if she hadn't have
passed out when she did, she probably would have phoned for an
ambulance. She didn't forget her dreams though, if that was what they
were. For a moment, she hesitated with the idea that perhaps it was
something else, perhaps it was a message, a warning from the future.
What ever it was though, she knew what she had to do. She had an
intricate plan worked out, which was so strong it felt as if her whole
body was reinforcing it, and yet she had no idea where it had come
from. She had a relaxing shower, first removing her watch and getting
fresh towels from the airing cupboard, after setting up the coffee
machine, all normal activities from her daily routine, but when she
poured her morning coffee she didn't tie her watch back on as usual,
but she placed it at the back of her medicine cabinet. Normally she
would manage to gulp about two thirds of her coffee before running out
of the house in a tardy panic, but this time she sat in her dressing
gown savouring the brazillian aroma as she read the newspaper.
Sometime later she dressed in a relaxing comfortable dress and pumps
and left the house, heading in to town, the opposing direction to her
office, from where she was already 2 hours overdue. She went straight
to her bank account to check her balance. She had been saving for a
long time now and was pleased to discover she had over 8,000
pounds.
She finally arrived at the office at about 11:30. As she walked through
the open plan floor she met un-approving eyes and heared several tuts,
she had obviously been missed and they were not impressed. Without
knocking she entered Mr Chambers' office and caught him making a
personal call (unless he calls the director of Finance "Pookums" and
wants her to wear the French maids costume tonight) She didn't let him
speak. As he hurriedly put the phone down and stood to defend himself
she announced that she was resigning and giving him the obligatory one
months notice. This he was shocked by, but when she reminded him that
she had 26 days holiday due and that she would be taking them
immediately he became so breathless he was almost lifeless. She closed
the door to block out his questions of why and how she couldn't do this
to him, it was too late, she had done it.
She packed her personal belongings from her desk into a small box and
left within minutes of resigning, if she was going to leave, she had to
do it quickly, no time for second thoughts or feelings just cut throat,
business like changing of her life, just like that. And it all felt so
natural.
When she left the building she felt no remorse and didn't even look
back for one last glance. She had no idea where she was going but her
feet seemed to lead her as if on auto-pilot. She arrived at Jax's
office and buzzed on the intercom without even thinking about what the
hell she was doing there and what she was going to say. None of this
phased her though, she knew that she would know what to say when she
needed to. Everything that was happening to her today had some kind of
magic haze around it, as if she were still dreaming. She knew she
wasn't, she knew that she was wide awake, but she was seeing things in
a different way now. Her life as it had been seemed so insignificant
now, so unimportant. He opened the door and looked annoyed at her
unannounced, unexpected visit. He didn't like surprises and always
seemed to act like a fourteen year old caught with a cigarette behind
the bike shed. He asked her why she was at his office during the day
while he tried to find a space for her to sit, his whole office was
covered in stacks of paperwork. She wasn't really sure what he did,
something in sales, but she had no idea how he could keep track of all
of the paperwork scattered around. He was the most unorganized person
she had ever met, no wonder he was always broke, he got paid on
commission.
"I'm here to break up with you" She proudly stated. Her words seemed
like that of someone else, some great Grecian goddess or warrior
princess. She explained to him how she thought that their relationship
was not going anywhere, and that even if it did go somewhere, they not
want it to go to the same place, they wanted different things. At first
he reacted badly, but she persisted and after an hour or so of
reasoning, he understood and they said goodbye graciously. They hugged
and pretended that they would stay friends and be in touch soon, both
knowing that they would probably never meet again. If ever they did
happen to spot each other, they would more than likely cross to the
other side of the street rather than have to say "hello"
As Sarah left Jax's office, she felt saddened by what she had done, and
yet inside she felt lighter and knew she had done the right
thing.
Her next stop would be the travel agent. Still carrying her box that
she carries from job to job, and fresh from splitting up with Jax, she
intended to go somewhere else and start again. If she was going to
build a new life from scratch, why not go somewhere else and do it, she
was fed up where she was anyway and thinking about moving on, well this
time rather than move to another town she was going to go further, to
cross borders and fly over oceans. Maybe she wouldn't like it and just
have a holiday and come back after a few weeks, but maybe, just maybe,
she could live somewhere hot, somewhere near the sea somewhere she
could find her happiness.