See no truths, Tell only lies

They say that you should never wake a sleepwalker; doing so would likely cause harm and distress to both parties. It’s argued that its safer to let them be and keep an eye on them, leaving them to their own devices and their slumber intact. Despite this advice being for sleepwalkers, people often apply it to the waking world, treating certain individuals, mostly the young and the old, as though some information is too dangerous to be shared while keeping an eye on them to make sure they don’t learn it through other means. If you have the time and are willing to put in the effort, this method would be my recommended approach to make sure you have complete control over a situation and you know all of the people who know about it. It’s also great for those changes that are seen as polarising or even changes you yourself are unsure about; plus you don’t have to have too many awkward conversations! You wont have to worry, if you’ll pardon the pun, about putting rumours to bed, if the people in question slept through the explanation.

Before you work out a way to broach a subject, your first instinct might be to back away and watch from a distance. Avoidance and observation may give you time to think of a better way to get your sleepwalker to bed but be cautious, too much distance between yourself and your target and they may find a way out of your sight. Distancing yourself from the people you don’t want to know may start off as a good plan however, time away thinking is also time that you’re not with them. Very quickly that distance grows. Very quickly you have to face another choice: chase after them or let them get on with their life.

I pray you’ll allow me another pun but if keeping the individual completely in the dark is not possible, and sleep is to be maintained then covert observations should be attempted. Muffling the part of you that you wish to hide while in their presence may, in the short term, allow some solace, it does, however, wear on you. Suppressing something so personal for what may equate to a large portion of your life adds only stress and fear and pain. Like with the first method, it is not recommended you do this over the long term; not only are you exposing yourself to further misery but it also keeps the sleepwalker at arms length and thus could create dissonance between observer and the observed.

People are often too quick to blur the line between sleepwalking and being awake, assuming a sleepwalker can do everything a waking person could; however, there are a couple obstacles in the way, namely their eyelids. A sleepwalker cannot see and their brain is not actually engaged on their activity so, regardless of whether they can drive usually, they probably shouldn’t be behind the wheel asleep. The same applies when discussing the waking; if you keep from them information that is too close to your heart, too important to you, then when they crash into the topic, they are not to know as to why you are hurt. Without an engaged brain, they’ll give it a go but they can’t be expected to know. To them, it will seem that something they had said offended you but they’ll never quite know what. Without that knowledge, without that control over their actions, unknowingly, they will sleepwalk from accident to accident.

Therein lies the problem. There are, in actuality, two ways to correctly deal with a sleepwalker and neither of them is apathy. Firstly, one should try and gently negotiate the sleepwalker back to bed; failing that, they should be immediately awoken.

Of the two actual methods, it is preferred that you take a more gentle approach first. Taking the sleepwalker from wherever they’ve wandered to and returning them to a safe place allows their awakening to be less abrupt and their eventual awakening to be more pleasant. Introducing things slowly, and then properly discussing them in a safe place will increase the likelihood that the sleepwalker will be receptive to the ideas presented. Of course this method is not entirely foolproof as some sleepwalkers are hesitant or even resistant to being guided to a safe space and, as such, there is a degree of risk involved; the sleepwalker may lash out, or otherwise continue their routine as if the intervention was never attempted.

Finally, the last port of call, awakening the sleepwalker abruptly so they may return themselves to a safe place. This method carries with it the highest risk and potentially, the highest reward. To awaken a sleepwalker abruptly allows any damages or disruptions they may be causing to be ceased immediately, allowing the process of acknowledgement and understanding to begin, however, it carries with it the risk of retaliation. It is my experience that few people enjoy being awoken and fewer still being told they were doing something incorrect; so, while allowing the fastest resolution to the issue, one must be prepared for immediate fallout.

With each method comes a risk; to sequester a part of yourself away, to risk losing someone you love, to subject yourself to continued pain or to be caught in the wrath of the weary; however, as with all things, there is potential for reward. Whichever method you choose to use, regardless of it ending in failure or success, only with apathy will you see true regret; being stuck, wondering what could have been if only you helped them, if only they knew.