Coming Home

Cherry

By luigi_pagano

Sun, 11 Jul 2021
  • 1856 reads
14 comments
 
He stood on the kitchen doorstep peering through the glass door with an inquisitive look.
 
I was in the middle of my breakfast and resented the intrusion.
 
I had hoped that he would go away if I ignored him but as he didn't seem to have any intention of leaving, opened the door to confront him.
 
”Is there anything I can help you with?”, I enquired sardonically and, to my surprise, he replied.
 
“'Hi, I was expecting the Braithwaites; you must be new owners.
Anyway, I'm Martin. I thought that I would pay a flying visit to inform you I am coming home.”
 
"What do you mean coming home? I don't know you from Adam; why would I let you stay in my house?"
 
"Haven't the previous occupiers told you that I rented a room? It may be small but I fully furnished it myself. I hope it hasn't been let.
My previous landlord tried to demolish it but I took him to court and the magistrate was swift to decide in my favour, a verdict that old Braithwaite found hard to swallow."
 
He was using puns left, right and centre, laughing at his own jokes.
I felt a bit silly to be talking to an avian would-be comedian.
 
I understood that the room in question was a nest underneath the house's eaves that my interlocutor, a common house martin, had built.
 
This loquacious creature liked the sound of his own voice. He admired my garden which was good for his diet, being full of insects.
I asked him why he didn't eat worms like normal birds.
 
"Because even the smallest worm will turn being trodden on…” ,  he quipped, quoting the Bard.
 
I was impressed,: an educated bird. a culture vulture as they say.
 
He then added:
 
"I know that you are fond of cherries and lately you have been gathering a few."
 
He winked and added: "Especially the virtual ones."
 
I was flabbergasted. "How do you do know about those?"
 
"A little bird told me."
 
With those witty exchanges, he won me over and I accepted that he had a right to come home.
 
 
 
© Luigi Pagano 2021
Certificate U
Story
Just Stories
Surreal
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

... and here's another. Very funny and original  Luigi - thank you!

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Martin is pleased that he was instrumental in getting me a cherry and reminded me not to forget my manners and thank the ABC's editors profusely.

Thank you kindly,  Luigi

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Good idea! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Many thanks, Rhiannon.

Luigi x

 

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Yes it's good. But at risk of sounding stupid, what is "sardonically"? other words too like "loquacious". You probably learn words like that at unviversity.

Good story! Flight of fantasy, cheers! Tom

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hello Tom, thanks for reading and liking this flight of fancy. Sardonically means in a sarcastic manner. 
As you rightly say, we learn new words every day, at school or otherwise.

Regards, Luigi

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Some words are easier to Learn than Unlearn. For instance ask anyone learning a new language or watching a lot of movies. Some ugly ones there hey?

Thanks Luigi! Good day! Tom

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

As a matter of fact, I learned a lot of English words (but not offensive ones) by watching films, especially westerns, in a cinema in Leicester Square in London.

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

I watch my movies with the French subscripts (if they have), now and then German I understand German I had it as a major in high school and I've already picked up quite a bit of French like that.

The advantage in swearing in a foreign language is people don't know they don't understand it, but as I said you always learn the swear words first,

Well, I'm going to watch a move now! Cheers!

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

yes

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Oh Luigi, I LOVED  this  :0) THANKYOU for posting

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

My pleasure, Di. My thanks for reading it and for your nice appraisal.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by marandina on

With that title, I was expecting something about Italy winning the Euros. I guess that would have been called "Coming to Rome". I congratulate you on this piece of work and for your national team's recent heroics. Paul :)

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

I thought that the title would attract attention and was proved right. As for the game, it was very competitive and I was on tenterhooks until the end. Obviously pleased with the outcome.

Best, Luigi