The Fly On the Wall

Cherry

By luigi_pagano

Sat, 14 Sep 2019
  • 1783 reads
8 comments
 

 

I often hear people saying 'I wish I was a fly on the wall'.
Well, I am that fly and let me tell you that it is not all that it's cracked up to be.
 
First of all there is the question of the lack of respect by the so called civilised society. How would you like to be chased by maniacs brandishing a newspaper and trying to swat you? Are they the ones who say they wouldn't hurt a fly?
Obviously they don't believe in the aphorism as harmless as a fly.
 
Moreover, some people who profess to be ecologically-minded do not think twice in hanging poisonous flypapers from the ceiling determined to exterminate my species. I have a good mind to report them to the NSPCA.
 
Then we have the offensive derogatory expressions, such as the fly in the ointment and like a blue-arsed fly. Sometimes I feel inclined to fly off the handle.
I wonder if it would have been better for me to be the elephant in the room or a bull in the china shop rather than a fly on the wall. They don't seem to get too much disrespect.
 
I am told that I have an advantageous position; that, ensconced on the wall, I can hear and observe all that goes on in the room below.
That's true but it won't serve any purpose whatsoever as I can't communicate the intelligence that I have gathered to anyone.
 
You would be surprised at the shenanigans that I witnessed and the scurrilous language that I heard. I listened to people who publicly proclaimed to fly the flag but privately planning to fly the coop at the first sign of danger.
 
Talking of which, there is always a risk to come to a sticky end (and I don't mean from the flypapers) because at the corner of the ceiling there is a vicious looking spider bent on bringing my existence to an untimely end.
 
I remember the seductive line uttered by that arachnid, 'Will you walk into my parlour?' and I am aware of the lethal meaning of those words.
Luckily I have a good sense of hearing and can quickly buzz off.
 
I can't see how to deal with this kind of adversaries but, deal or no deal – to coin a phrase – I am determined to leave this place of obscenity and as soon as someone opens the window a crack to let the fresh air in I will escape from this crowd acting like a fly on the wheel.
 
© Luigi Pagano 2019

 

 

 

Certificate U
Story
Just Stories
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by airyfairy on

Very funny!  I don't like the sound of that looming spider - I hope our narrator does manage to buzz off in time.

One small point - we've got NSPCA - I assume you mean RSPCA rather than NSPCC!  

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hi Jane, just pretend that the narrator is South African as the NSPCA is the National Council of Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals of that country.
In truth I boobed as I mistook one for the other. Mea culpa.

Pleased that you liked the humour and thank you for comment and cherries.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

In South-Africa it's just SPCA.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Thanks for your information, Tom.
This is the definition that Wikipedia gives:
NSPCA
National Council of Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (NSPCA), also known as the National Council of SPCAs,[2] is the largest and oldest animal welfare organisation in South Africa. The NSPCA handles all matters relating to animal cruelty involving all animal species and is a registered Non-Profit Organisation registered with the Department of Social Development.[3]

Anyway, be it RSPCA, NSPCA or just SPCA they all seem to be organisations concerned with the prevention of cruelty to animals and that was the point in question. 

Best, Luigi

 

Submitted by Penny4athought on

So well written, the humour, the phrases all worked well in this very original stroy.

Penny4athought

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Good morning JoAnne.
Not easy for a human being to imitate the characteristics of a creature such as a fly without wondering how it would react in certain circumstances. The scenario I have created, given my ignorance of the subject, could only be surreal and humorous. It is good to know that my approach has struck a chord with you.

Thanks and best wishes, Luigi x

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Well explained Luigi yes I would not want to be a fly on the wall (or the air or anwhere alse) who knows what all real dirty ugly you see and hear and you're trapped. Well not to be a fly at all some things you don't want to see. One thing though there's usually lots of food if you don't mind someone spitting on it there's much worse.. .

Never realised how many idioms there are about flies.

Ok Luigi! Have a good week!

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Many thanks for your input Tom and a good week-end to you too.

Cheers, Luigi