love in the briefest sense

the suns coming up and all this placid light is splayed over your body. kisses and bitten skin and bruises and heat and i don't feel this way about many people, babe, so touch my arms again and dance your fingernails on my stomach and crush your hands in my hair please. im so tired. im so so so tired and i cant sleep. insomniac isolation and mad mutterings. im crazed. in this prison of herring bones where my desires and delirium dance on swift wings i am thinking only of your pretty goddamn mouth. deranged some? i think so. with my legs between your legs under a smothering duvet i am happy, because silkness and bold hair drew me to you and you draw me into your arms fitting like destiny. but its a kingdom built on eyelashes and hidden darkness and salted sin and its obesity balancing on a feather, it wont hold right, it might topple but if i taste your tongue maybe that will set things straight. i need your mouth on my mouth and your fingers twisting my hair, and i need lots of things. when your in bed with me, tangled up with me, glancing at me i feel clouds opening and beams falling in crazed arcs. and i love those suspicious looks from family when i touch your arm and feel goosebumps on your wrist and you grin like a Viking and its just amazing. you make me hazy and unsure and all my physical properties are on shaky ground. and i just don't know why. why i am still so dark and unsure? cos i am, im anxious, more than before... im crumbling, sweetheart, god i remember this feeling its like an old memory whispered on fish lips, did it really happen? when the girls all jostle and muddle and thrash im all mesmerised and in a weird delirium induced by what? some crazy cupid army, with bloody arrows and scarlet wings and crimson eyes? sending screaming spears all which way. is there an order: a kingdom of passions with an emperor of love and princes of lust a count of need and princes of desire? under which we humanity slave our sensuousness and sex and lust. under barons of want and earls of yearning, am i learning?