Writers' Retreat
By maggyvaneijk
- 6651 reads
I was nervous - entirely out of place
I wanted to jump out of the window and
run into the Scottish highlands but instead -
I showed you what I had written, my trembling
fingers clutched the corners of my story
and you asked if I wrote out of experience
I lied and said I didn’t
I don't like to be judged
And then during dinner
You announced to them – all of them
The alcoholic film director
The lesbian cruise-ship singer
The chatty woman with half a face
The man with Parkinson’s disease
The talented guy - always on K
And the not so talented nurse
You announced to them
that I was important
that I was a writer
And suddenly their faces
looked at mine
Their conversations about Kafka and modern
day politics - stopped - their eyes
meant for hunting down anyone willing to listen
pointed towards me searching for something
that wasn’t there before.
The director passed the salt as if to
suggest we were now related and the
Ketamine addict told me my hair looked
real pretty tonight
You see,
what you said to the table
it simply, made me feel
special
An intention was given to my life
the plot was sharpened and words
carried that comforting weight
that comes with meaning rather than
running without purpose across
a blank page
My feet felt more secure
I unwound them from under the table
My hands didn’t tremble
I unraveled my sweaty fingers
and placed them on my lap
It was a feeling
that hauled me out of
the dark corners of
teenage angst - suddenly
I wasn’t so afraid
of being centre stage
But now -
I’m sitting here
surrounded by
a dozen
coffee mugs
some warm, some old
trying to find
poetry in
circles of
white fuzzy mould
And my limbs begin to tremble - again
as I balance the blotchy pen underneath
my chin and ink splashes all over
colourless skin
I don’t feel so important or very
secure – there aren’t any Scottish highlands
to run into as I try to live up ...
Try to live up to what you said
about my writing, to everyone there
But I can’t
find many words
if any at all.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
Fantastic...like properly
Sam Hennig
- Log in to post comments
I really enjoyed this poem
- Log in to post comments
'My feet felt more secure I
- Log in to post comments
Btw can you write one for me
Sam Hennig
- Log in to post comments
Maggy, another one that
- Log in to post comments
Btw my last comment wasn't
Sam Hennig
- Log in to post comments
Haha...im not, just realised
Sam Hennig
- Log in to post comments
Haha, brilliant! Way too
Sam Hennig
- Log in to post comments
Really enjoyed this -
- Log in to post comments
Oh I do love our archives.
Oh I do love our archives. This brilliant poem deserves a new audience, and it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!
- Log in to post comments
the Scottish highlands, aye,
the Scottish highlands, aye, to be a writer and run away, but I'm glad you stayed.
- Log in to post comments
for a minute I thought this
for a minute I thought this might be about another writing retreat.... anyway, I loved this poem - great pick! Hope things are going well for you Maggy xx
- Log in to post comments