7th day pome
By maisie
Fri, 16 Dec 2011
- 1210 reads
4 comments
Collision
.
In consentual action -
we were two bright stars
that left orbit to collide
.
one midsummer when
the door was open -
you said, "The last time!"
.
It hung in the air midstream;
a salmon jump interupted
while I thought out
.
the consquences -
only to leave me past autumn
when the last fires
.
are put out. You were
the night shining. Frost
on your amour.
.
(c) RJL2011
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Comments
The third stanza into the
The third stanza into the fourth is the highlight of a good poem - I really like the mixture/juxtaposition of "air midstream and salmon jumping" the image put me right in there. Well done.
PS. Revise "consentual" in the first line.
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Lovely thoughts Maisie.
Permalink Submitted by Parson Thru on
Lovely thoughts Maisie. Connects nicely.
Parson Thru
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