8TH DAY - WINTER HAIKU

By maisie

Thu, 15 Dec 2011

3 comments

Braw the sudden shaft
of cold, that splutters somewhere up
your nose, the shift: gone!

Not a good one! Sorry!

Permalink Submitted by gerardineanne on Thu, 2011-12-15 19:35

The 'sudden shaft' and 'splutters somewhere' and ' the shift' Nice s''s's going on.Even 'braw'! It feels good in the mouth when you say it. Thankyou.

Permalink Submitted by scratch on Thu, 2011-12-15 20:21

gerardineanne, You took the words right out of my mouthfeel.

Permalink Submitted by scratch on Thu, 2011-12-15 20:23

Great comment - no need for more. And by the way maisie a great poem.