leggingsends2

Three more noisy nights of deliveries, no idea of what, I've been sleeping. It's a habit of mine. In the morning, around 7.30, the Grommets are in conference with a notable, with a measured accurate voice.

“I won't be able to give it to her,” he said happily, “So after that it's your turn.”

“Can you get away with that?” said Pa carefully.

“Ye-es. I can say that she wasn't up,” said the notable calmly, “Didn't take the recommended precautions, defined by the Home Office. Didn't die her black. That would have given her a few weeks. At least they say that!”

There was laughter. We all knew the risks of hair dye – the stuff eventually blunts the brain.

“Can't we get the monies off her?” asked Pa, “I mean we tried to get her to give it up yesterday.”

“No.” the notable said quietly, “It'll look too obvious. The locals already hate us... This could set off a revolution.”

“She keeps insisting she earned it!” snapped Satanic Claw, “Even furious we got the volcano, says she and her family are never ever going to help us.”

“We can't make her.” he said, “Not forcibly anyway.”

“She insists she was told it was her Mother's land, and it was to be given back.” sobbed Satanic Claw beautifully, “Says she wasn't good enough for the churches, and because I begged around the bus stops for a film crew, and got a boyfriend who wanted more than one woman to sleep with. I really fitted the bill.”

“You do, you do!” the notable cheered her on. “You're perfect.”

“Yes only...” sobbed Satanic Claw, “We need her money too! We said we'd do a deal... Only she said on reflection... The churches were so right, she wasn't good enough to get her Mother's land, and she hoped it would blow us all up. And she'd live long enough to watch the fun! She might have enough money to enjoy it on. Her long life I mean.”

The notable coughed, “It was meant to be a bargaining piece,” he said, “To keep the family in line.”

“She says we're perfect, and she's sure we'll manage it.”

“We'll have sex before I go,” he said thoughtfully, “Then everything will be alright.”

I was gobsmacked. Every normality was reversed. Should I have l run from the village? Nah! I feel I have obligations here. Friends too! I'll go and look at a property later – you never know what might turn up in my bank account... yes hope helps!

I scrambled from the bed. Well this guy was no real Prince on a white charger.... not worth waiting for the kiss that would wake me and rescue me from the tall tower...

He ran immediately for his car. “Got to go!”

The Grommets and their pet Claw ran after him, an excited gaggle of geese, quacking for more, “We need money,” they yelled after him, “Quack quack! And we're not stupid enough to earn it!”