Is the Answer Really an Umbrella?

Some women even look good in the rain
I am not one of those women.
Some women glide through the miserable weather
Untouchably chic under patterned umbrellas
I am not one of those women.
Some women's hair stays bouffant and smooth
Their shoes specked with raindrops like fresh morning dew
I am not one of those women.

How do they do it?

I am not one of those women. No.
I am a drowned rat.
A wet-trousered, wet-shoed, fuzz-haired misery
In a cheap cagoule.